Steve Jobs, in Cartoons...

Via my mom, a half dozen tributes to Steve Jobs by cartoonists...

Generation Y...

Via reader Simi L.:

People born before 1946 are called – The Silent Generation.

People born between 1946 and 1964 are called – The Baby Boomers.

People born between 1965 and 1979 are called – Generation X.

And people born between 1980 and 2010 are called - Generation Y.

Why do we call the last group “Generation Y”?

Y should I get a job?

Y should I leave home and find my own place?

Y should I get a car when I can borrow yours?

Y should I clean my room?

Y should I wash and iron my own clothes?

Y should I buy any food?

But a cartoonist explained it very eloquently at right...

Quote of the Day...

From, of all people, Christine “Mad Dog” O'Donnell:

“Right now a lawn gnome could beat Obama in 2012...”

Sure hope she's right, 'cause the way things are going the Republicans might end up ahead of the game if they fielded a lawn gnome...

Mark Steyn on American Education...

Mr. Steyn, opining on one of my favorite topics: the utter disaster that is American public education.  An excerpt:

Don't worry, it's a book with a happy ending! U.S. government spending is sustainable as long as by 2020 the rest of the planet is willing to sink 19 percent of its GDP into U.S. Treasury debt. And why wouldn't they? After all, if you're a Chinese politburo member or a Saudi prince or a Russian kleptocrat or a Somali pirate, and you switched on CNN International and chanced to catch Joe Biden's Fourth Grade Economics class, why wouldn't you cheerily dump a fifth of your GDP into a business model with such a bright future?

Since 1970, public school employment has increased 10 times faster than public school enrollment. In 2008, the United States spent more per student on K-12 education than any other developed nation except Switzerland – and at least the Swiss have something to show for it. In 2008, York City School District spent $12,691 per pupil – or about a third more than the Swiss. Slovakia's total per student cost is less than York City's current per student deficit – and the Slovak kids beat the United States at mathematics, which may explain why their budget arithmetic still has a passing acquaintanceship with reality. As in so many other areas of American life, the problem is not the lack of money but the fact that so much of the money is utterly wasted.

But that's no reason not to waste even more! So the President spent last week touring around in his weaponized Canadian bus telling Americans that Republicans were blocking plans to "put teachers back in the classroom." Well, where are they now? Not every schoolmarm is down at the Occupy Wall Street drum circle, is she? No, indeed. And, in that respect, York City is a most instructive example: Five years ago (the most recent breakdown I have), the district had 440 teachers but 295 administrative and support staff. If you're thinking that sounds a little out of whack, that just shows what a dummy you are: For every three teachers we "put back in the classroom," we need to hire two bureaucrats to put back in the bureaucracy to fill in the paperwork to access the federal funds to put teachers back in the classroom. One day it will be three educrats for every two teachers, and the system will operate even more effectively.

If you have even a passing interest in this topic, you'll want to read the whole thing...

Seen at the Akron, Ohio Air Show...

Oh, Crap...

Via reader Dave H.:

Easy Corn on the Cob...

I haven't tried this yet, but it sure looks easy!

Al Gore's Science: Fake!

Come on, now, admit it.  You're not really all that surprised by this, are you?

Sibyl...

Remember Sibyl, she of the prototypical Multiple Personality Disorder?  Fraud.

Secret Service Treatment...

I've seen reports like this in writing from various sources, but I've never been able to really nail down an authoritative source. These assertions sound completely plausible to me, but I can't prove them. So, for what it's worth:

No Mercy...

The comedians have dropped their protective shield around Obama.  This can't be good for him :-)

You're Welcome...

The old saying goes “Sir, you're welcome to your own opinion, but not to your own facts.”  The Occupy Wall Street (OWS) crowd would like their own facts.  This survey is quite depressing, but not really all that surprising.  Take a look (graph at right) at how the OWS folks think the federal government allocates money.  Click here to see much more...

Quote of the Day...

Courtesy of Rick Perry, in Tuesday's debates:

I want to make the tax code so simple that even Timothy Geithner can file his taxes on time.

Ha!

Word Association...

I'm not entirely sure what to read into these results, but they sure are interesting.  A pollster asked a sample population what single word came to mind when they thought of a particular candidate.  Here are the top 5 words that those polled came up with:

Herman Cain:   9-9-9, Businessman, Interesting, Good, Pizza
Rick Perry:       Texas, No, Idiot, Conservative, Governor
Mitt Romney:   Mormon, Healthcare, Flip-Flop, Good, No

Fascinating...

Very Cool Physics Demo...

Applying for a Job at the FBI...

I just left my parents home a couple hours ago, and I'm sitting in the Richmond, Virginia airport using their free WiFi.  Via my mom:

The FBI had an opening for an assassin.

After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never kill my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for 5 minutes.

The man came out with tears in his eyes, "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions - to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, 15 in all. But then they heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow.

"This gun was loaded with blanks" she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Women are crazy. Don't mess with them!

No man I've shared this with is even slightly surprised...

Light Blogging Alert...

I'll be on the road for the next few days, visiting with my folks in Virginia.  I will have Internet access, so there may be the occasional post nonetheless...

Dennis Ritchie, RIP...

Any serious programmer, and certainly any programmer who worked in the '80s or before, will know who Dennis Ritchie was.  Amongst his many accomplishments: co-creator of UNIX, co-creator of the programming language “C”, and co-author of widely read and influential books.  I never met Dennis, but I count him as one of the teachers who most impacted me.

Ritchie died this past weekend, after a long illness.  Rob Pike, Ritchie's long-time friend made the announcement last night...

Welfare Dogs...

Via reader Dave H.:

This morning I went to sign my dogs up for welfare. At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare." So I explained to her that my dogs are mixed in color, unemployed, lazy, can't speak English and have no frigging clue who their Daddys are. They expect me to feed them, provide them with housing and medical care. So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify. My dogs get their first checks Friday.

Damn, this is a great country.

Smooth Atacama Boulders...

In the extreme dryness of the Atacama desert in Chile, there are large fields of boulders on the flat desert floor.  The midsections of these boulders are worn smooth.  Such smoothing is normally caused by erosion involving water, but this desert has virtually none.  So why are those boulders smooth?  In a word: earthquakes.

Get Government Out of Space!

Looks like the Obama administration is doing exactly what they said (while campaigning) they would never do: gut the space science program to fund the manned space program.  I'm beginning to think the Glenn Reynolds is right: if you want to know what the Obama administration is going to do, just assume it's the opposite of what they say.

From an article by Lou Friedman (for 30 years the director of the Planetary Society):

We’re in a similar situation today. Behind closed doors, the administration is deciding on NASA budget cuts that may not be in the best interest of either the agency or the American people. Having caved in to Congressional special interests on the Space Launch System (SLS), the administration is now prepared to sacrifice science and exploration programs in order to prematurely start its development, with requirements that will neither be met nor needed for more than a decade.

Imagine a NASA that for ten years (say, 2015 to 2025) ceases to explore the solar system and stops looking deep into the universe. Already, the administration has said that flagship missions to explore the outer planets will cease. Voyager, Galileo, and Cassini will be followed by nothing. Already, the administration has deeply cut the Mars program, reducing American plans to support a 2016 European mission and taking away funds that were to be used for a 2018 follow-on to Mars Science Laboratory, leading to Mars sample return.

Now, news reports and reliable sources are saying that the administration (in the form of OMB) may refuse to allow NASA to proceed with any joint Mars exploration plan with Europe. This decision would destroy the whole NASA/ESA Mars collaboration that has been built in the past several years. The collaborative plan was to have the US provide an Atlas launch of a European Trace Gas Orbiter mission (with several US instruments) in 2016, and then NASA and ESA would jointly develop a sophisticated astrobiology and sample cache rover mission in 2018. OMB seems to be cutting out the American role in the 2016 mission and refusing to let NASA commit to the 2018 collaboration. (ESA has sent a letter to NASA saying that ESA has committed about $1 billion to the joint NASA-ESA mission, but that financial commitment depends on the US formally committing to its role in the mission. We hear that OMB has refused, thus far, to let NASA respond positively).

The administration has also punted the James Webb Space Telescope. The current plan states that they will support JWST, but they do not specify either a budget or where the money will come from. Are they going to leave that to Congressional special interests too?

Moonlit Morning Walk...

I got up a little early this morning, about 2:15 am, and took the dogs out for their morning constitutional.  The moon was high in the southern sky, and nearly perfectly full.  There was virtually no haze, so it was unusually bright outside.  I could clearly see colors around the yard, and could easily make out the mountains on the other side of our valley, about two miles away.  The dogs behaved as if it was daylight, especially Race – he scampered all about, chasing a pine cone. 

I heard the rustling of something largish uphill from us, and after some searching I found a pair of eyes looking at me: a coyote, about 100 feet away, on the other side of our yard's hurricane fence.  My dogs never knew he was there.  The coyote and I watched each other as we finished our walk and went back inside.  I wonder what went through his mind as he watched us?

The Comedians are Merciless...

Some political humor, via reader Simi L:

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.  We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
--Jay Leno

America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
--Jay Leno

Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
--Conan O'Brien

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
--Jay Leno

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers, and threats to society.  The other is for housing prisoners.
--David Letterman

Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!
--Jimmy Fallon

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.
--Jimmy Kimmel

Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for Clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.
--David Letterman

People Flows...

Ever wonder how many people immigrate into, or emigrate out of, any particular country?  Here's a cool web site that lets you investigate exactly these questions.  For example, here's emigration from Mexico – and there were some surprises on this for me...

The Phony Consensus...

The media finally seems to be catching up to the news that the so-called “consensus” on antropogenic global warming (AGW) isn't a consensus at all.  The Daily Herald published this piece of commentary recently.  The lead:

The end is near ...

... that is, for the myth that scientists have reached "consensus" on global warming and climate change caused by humans.

The theory (more accurately called a religion for the redistribution of wealth) has taken a number of body blows in recent times -- although the climate-change lobby is still straining to impose its view on the world. For example, Time magazine issued a screed headlined "Who's Bankrolling the Climate-Change Deniers?" The piece wonders why any doubts linger. Time says, "an overwhelming scientific consensus that says it does."

Interesting shift in the media consensus!  The piece refers to the Global Warming Petition Project, which so far has collected over 31,000 signatures from scientists skeptical of AGW.  Some consensus!

Feynman on Curiousity...

Another beautiful video:

Employment Chart Roundup...

The Big Picture has an enormous roundup of charts showing employment data from this recession as compared with past recessions.  It's quite informative, though a bit depressing.  I recommend a ready supply of alcohol before studying these.  Just one example below:

Paid Protesters?

Check out what the Power Line guys found...

121,000 Feet...

Awesome video of an amateur rocket launch.  The payload reached 121,000 feet in altitude, right at the very edge of outer space...

Feynman on Beauty...

One of my heroes, Richard Feynman, talking about beauty – in a monologue that is itself beautiful...

Original Sin...

Forwarded by reader Jim M.:

Stress Busters...

My mom sent along a collection of “stress buster” photos.  This one, for some reason, especially caught my fancy...

Wall Street Protesters...

An annotated photo showing the hypocrisy (or stupidity?) of the Wall Street protesters.  Sent along by reader Simon M.:

A Walk on Cuyamaca...

Yesterday afternoon, Debbie and I had a very pleasant hike up Cuyamaca Mountain, with two of our dogs (Miki and Race).  We walked up the Fire Lookout Road (the paved road), as that's the only trail that our dogs are allowed on.  This area all burned over in the 2007 wildfires, and we haven't been here very much since then – it makes us sad to see all the old-growth forest gone.  The view was very nice, though.  You can see Cuyamaca Lake near the center of the photo, and to the right of the peak in the distance you can even see a piece of the Salton Sea.  Very little haze yesterday.

Well, most of the old trees are gone, but not quite all of them.  You can see in the photo above that there are some survivors, though in the distance you can see thousands upon thousands of tree skeletons, like the one at left.  We passed hundreds like this on the way up the mountain.  As we got closer to the top, we saw more and more survivors of the 2007 wildfires (like the Ponderosa at right), many of which are charred up to 15 or 20 feet from the ground.  We also saw something that was most encouraging: hundreds of young pine trees, and unbelievable numbers of baby cedar trees.  In some places, the baby cedars (all less than 2 feet high) looked like some kind of ground cover, a veritable mat of greenery.  These babies are too young – maybe just a year – to be fire pioneers.  I'm not sure what caused this cedar explosion, but it sure is nice to see.  The peak of Cuyamaca looks like some kind of development – there are several buildings in various stages of construction, some heavy equipment, and building materials in piles all over the place.  I'm not sure what they're doing up there, but the result is that the peak area is almost unrecognizable to someone like us who has been visiting there for thirty years...

The big excitement on the hike was spotting a king snake (Lampropeltis zonata) on the way down. This little fellow was right in the middle of the road! We don't see king snakes very often – it's probably been 10 or 15 years ago that we last saw one in this area. I used to hike a lot in the San Jacinto area, where I saw them quite often. If you're not familiar with king snakes, they're not poisonous (though the look a lot like the deadly poisonous coral snake). In fact, they eat poisonous snakes!

Last but certainly not least, here are my companions on our delightful little walk.  After we finished our hike, we repaired to the Descanso Junction Restaurant, where I had a burger (great, as always) and Debbie made a small dent in the prime rib special.  She brought home a box with enough beef leftover to make a meal for the both of us!

Despite being surrounded by the evidence of the 2007 wildfires, we both enjoyed getting back out in the mountains again – it's been a while since we went hiking in our local mountains...

Military Uniform History...

Via my mom, who finds this history eminently believable:

During the recent royal wedding, the millions around the world saw that Prince William chose to wear a uniform that included the famous British "red coat." Many people have asked, "Why did the British wear red coats in battle?"

Well, a long time ago, when Britain and France were at war, during one battle, the French captured a British Colonel. They took him to their head-quarters, where the French General began to question him. Finally, as an afterthought, the French General asked, "Why do you British officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"  In his casual, matter-of-fact, way, the officer informed the General that the reason British officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show, and the men they are leading won't panic.

And that is why, from that day forward, all French Army officers have worn brown trousers.

Speaking Truth to Power...

Pat Condell, doing his usual awesomely good job...

Faster Than Light...

Since the recent announcement that an experiment at CERN is measuring the speed of neutrinos as faster than the speed of light, there has been no end of commentary.  But of all that I've read, I think Charles Krauthammer (generally known for his political commentary) has said it best.  His conclusion:

But if quantum mechanics was a challenge to human sensibilities, this pesky Swiss-Italian neutrino is their undoing. It means that Einstein’s relativity — a theory of uncommon beauty upon which all of physics has been built for 100 years — is wrong. Not just inaccurate. Not just flawed. But deeply, fundamentally, indescribably wrong.

It means that the “standard model” of subatomic particles that stands at the center of all modern physics is wrong.

Nor does it stop there. This will not just overthrow physics. Astronomy and cosmology measure time and distance in the universe on the assumption of light speed as the cosmic limit. Their foundations will shake as well.

It cannot be. Yet, this is not a couple of guys in a garage peddling cold fusion. This is no crank wheeling a perpetual motion machine into the patent office. These are the best researchers in the world using the finest measuring instruments, having subjected their data to the highest levels of scrutiny, including six months of cross-checking by 160 scientists from 11 countries.

But there must be some error. Because otherwise everything changes. We shall need a new physics. A new cosmology. New understandings of past and future, of cause and effect. Then shortly and surely, new theologies.
Why? Because we can’t have neutrinos getting kicked out of taverns they have not yet entered.

Remember This When You Vote...

On the evidence of past elections, one must assume that the average American voter's memory is approximately as capacious as that of an earthworm.  Therefore I feel quite safe in assuming that by the November 2012 elections, the average voter will have completely forgotten the promises and projections of then-candidate Obama with respect to unemployment.

So I present the chart at right (courtesy of Innocent Bystanders) to refresh everyone's memory.  According to projections by Obama and his trusty sidekick Tim, at this point we should be at 7.2% unemployment if we hadn't implemented the Obama stimulus program at all.  And with the stimulus program, we should be at a much more comfortable 6.3% unemployment (all of these unemployment numbers are the bogus, “cooked” numbers that leave out the “discouraged” (but still very much unemployed) workers.

So what's the lesson here? That Obama and his cronies are lying sacks of shit?

No, I don't think so.  I think they really believed those projections, and that the real lesson (as if it was actually needed!) is that they have no idea what they're doing.

So please, dear American voters...remember this when you vote next November...

Terrifying Graph...

A few months ago, my company brought in a motivational speaker, who did a fine job of firing us all up.  A refrain heard throughout his talk (and explained in it), was “Glad to be here!”

Anyone with a job should be glad to be there.  Look at the graph at right (click to enlarge) and consider what it implies to those unfortunate enough to be unemployed (currently 1 in 6 Americans of working age).

This graph was part of a fine article by Megan McArdle on a different question: whether the demonstrations on Wall Street could morph into an actual platform for the Democrats...

Trouble with Models...

An excellent article about the dangers of relying on computer models to predict future events.  They had me at the introductory quote, one of my old favorites:

“Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.”
—Niels Bohr, Danish physicist (1885 – 1962)

Last American Who Knew What the F*$! He Was Doing...

Via reader Simon M., the Onion (ground zero for satire on the web) notes the death of Steve Jobs in their usual irreverant fashion.  Only I'm none too sure that that headline is satire...

Detailed Tectonic Map of Southern California...

A very nicely detailed tectonic map of Southern California, showing where the local plates are, and where the rifts are.  As usual, click to enlarge...

Creationist Poke of the Day...

“Humans are just modified fish.”

Go read.

Chinese Birds...

My mom sent me a Powerpoint slide show filled with Chinese text and photographs of gorgeous and exotic birds.  One example is at right.  If I can figure out how to extract the photos, I'll post more – along with attribution, if I can figure out which characters indicate the photographer's name!

A Year for Strange Weather...

October is generally the absolute peak of our annual wildfire season.  It was in October of 2007 that San Diego County experienced the worst wildfires it's ever seen.  Usually October is hot and dry, with the occasional Santa Ana wind blowing more hot and dry air over us from the desert.  It's those winds, combined with tinder-dry fuel, that are the fearsome enablers for the wildfire season...

This year has been very different.  First, the summer hasn't been nearly as hot and dry as in the most recent 8 years or so.  Second, we've had some rain during the dry season.  Night before last, we had over three quarters of an inch.  That may not sound like much rain to some of you, but for us it's not much short of a miracle – the fuel that we live amidst is now nicely wet down, right at the peak of our wildfire season when it's normally at its driest.  Our risk of wildfire over the next few weeks has been greatly reduced.

I can easily empathize with the peoples of ages ago, who would be outside doing some kind of dance to whatever spirits they thought needed to be thanked...

Scott Adams on Steve Jobs...

Just a short read, and worth your click...

Steve Jobs, RIP...

Another of my personal heroes is gone.

WSJ obituary, Walt Mossberg's remembrance, and a photo gallery.

It's so sad that he died so young, just 56...

When a Dog is Cold...

...it just takes care of the problem!  Via my lovely bride:

An Email from Queen Elizabeth...

Via reader Simi L.:

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
   
   
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
   
   
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
   
   
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
   
   
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
   
   
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
   
   
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
   
   
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
   
   
9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
   
   
10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
    
    
11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
    
    
12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
    
    
13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
    
    
14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
    
    
15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
    
    

God Save the Queen!

How Much Would You Give?

Via my mom:

A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the highway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and are asking for a $10 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, taking up a collection."

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "About a gallon."

Ha!

I'd gladly pay for a tanker to drive to D.C...

The citizens are not happy with their elected representatives.  I wonder if the citizens will actually remember this, come November 2012?

Minnesota...

Via my mom:

Minnesota became the 32nd state on May 11, 1858 and was originally settled by a lost tribes of Swedes seeking refuge from the searing heat of Wisconsin 's winters.

Minnesota gets it's name from the Sioux Indian word "mah-nee-soo-tah," meaning, "No, really...!!!! They eat fish soaked in lye."

The state song of Minnesota is "Someday the Vikings will... Aw, never mind."

The Mall of America in Bloomington , Minnesota covers 9.5 million square feet and has enough space to hold 185,000 idiot teenagers yapping away on cell phones.

Madison, Minnesota is known as "the lutefisk capital of the world." Avoid this city at all costs.

"The Mary Tyler Moore Show" was set in Minneapolis , Minnesota , and was Mary's first real acting job since leaving the "Dick van Dyke Show. The show about a single woman's struggle to find happiness in the big city was originally titled "Life Without Dick," but that was changed for some reason.

Downtown Minneapolis has an enclosed skyway system covering 52 blocks, allowing people to live, work, eat, and sleep without ever going outside. The only downside to this is that a Swede occasionally turns up missing.

Cartoonist Charles M. Shultz was born in Minneapolis , Minnesota and grew up in St. Paul. He was the only artist to accurately depict the perfectly circular heads of Minnesota natives.

The Hormel Company of Austin , Minnesota produces 6 million cans of Spam a year, even though no one actually eats it. Spam is a prized food in Japan & Hawaii--Spam sushi!!

Minnesota license plates are blue & white and contain the phrase "Blizzards on the 4th of July - you get used to it."

Frank C. Mars, founder of the Mars Candy Co. was born in Newport, Minnesota . His 3 Musketeers candy bar originally contained three bars in one wrapper, each filled with a different flavor of nougat -chocolate, Spam and lutefisk.

Tonka trucks continue to be manufactured in Minnetonka, Minnesota, despite the thousands of GI Joe dolls killed by them annually in rollover accidents. No airbags, no seat belts. These things are deathtraps, I tell ya!

Author Laura Ingalls Wilder was raised at Walnut Grove, Minnesota, and was famous for writing the "Little House" series of books, as well as inventing the "Spam diet" which consists of looking at a plate of Spam until you lose your appetite. Much like the "lutefisk diet"

The snowmobile was invented in Roseau , Minnesota so as to allow families a means of attending 4th of July picnics.

Minnesotans are almost indistinguishable from Wisconsinites. The only way to tell them apart is to ask if they voted for Mondale in '84.

Now... it's up to you to forward this to all your friends If one of them does not forward it to others, he/she will be given an entrance pin to attend the Eelpout Festival in Walker, MN....in February --

Cold is a relative thing ya know....

At 65 degrees, Arizonans turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.

At 60, Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Minnesota sunbathe.

At 50, Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down..

At 40, Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.

At 35, New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

At 20, People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close their windows.

At 0, Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.

At 10 below zero, Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.

At 20 below, Washington DC runs out of hot air. (Ya think? Nah.). People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

At 30 below, Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the snowmobile.

At 40 below, ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold enough for ya, eh?"

At 50 below, hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

25 Years Ago...

Via reader Simon M:

Hah!

A New Color...

I've posted before about the strange phenomenon of visible ultraviolet light.  This was discovered in WWII when cataract patients serving off the coast of Nazi-occupied Europe reported that they could see the glow of German night troops using ultraviolet lights.  The German troops were equipped with an early form of night vision equipment that the Allies couldn't duplicate until near the end of the war.  But with the fortuitous discovery that cataract patients could see the lights, the Allies were able to detect when the German night troops were using this gear.

The cataract surgery back then involved complete removal of the eye's inner crystalline lens.  To compensate, the patients had to wear “Coke bottle” lenses in their glasses.  The natural crystalinne lense is opaque to ultraviolet light, but the external glass lenses were not – so for the first time in their lives, these patients had ultraviolet light impinging on their retinas.

Now a much more modern form of cataract surgery, in which the natural crystalline lens is replaced, has produced the same effect – because the replacement lens is made of material that is transparent to ultraviolet light.

FDA Wants to Kill You...

No, really.  From Scott Gottlieb in this morning's WSJ:

How the FDA Could Cost You Your Life

An aortic valve approved in Europe four years ago will soon be approved in the U.S. Meanwhile, thousands who may have benefited from the device have died.

Alpha Dog...

Some pretty darned impressive robotics – coming soon to a combat zone near you:

Just In Case...

Just in case you happen to be one of the eight people on the planet who hasn't already seen this – here's a video of a girl hearing her first sounds after a lifetime of deafness:




The video shows her reaction to the activation of her newly implanted hearing aid.

WTF?

Sometimes (fairly often, actually) when I look at something presented to me as “art”, I fail to find anything entertaining, attractive, intriguing, or interesting about it – no matter how hard I try.  The vast majority of these examples of (to me) incomprehensible art were created in the last 100 years or so.  Here's one of them – a dance clip from Sadler's Wells, a famous London dance house:




Now I'm a huge fan of nearly-naked women, and this performance (if that's the right term) includes some nice examples of that genre. But nearly-naked women with sticks strapped to their heads? And what's with the guys in their underwear on variously bizarre modes of transport? Above all, why would anyone believe this would be art?

Things like this make me feel like I'm missing a gene or two that a lot of other people have.  They see art, I see evidence of civilization headed down the drain...

Jahar, Just Hangin' Around...

Jahar (aka SnickleFritz) is the most recent addition to our menagerie.  He's a little Savannah kitten, just a few months old.  He's currently in the process of being introduced to the rest of our animals, by spending a few hours each day in a smallish cage in a room that our other cats and dogs have access to.  The rest of the time, Jahar lives in our bedroom with the door shut.  That's where I took this video, with a calm Jahar just looking for a little attention and affection.  He's an entirely different beastie when he's “hunting” or playing (pretty much the same thing!).  Jahar:

The Next Bubble?

Quite a few smart people are predicting that student loans will be the next big asset bubble to pop and splatter us all with the detritus.  Some are saying it has already started...

Narratives...

Peggy Noonan on the political narratives of the 2012 Presidential hopefuls:

Here's the problem: There is no story. At the end of the day, there is only reality. Things work or they don't. When they work, people notice, and say it. 

Would the next president like a story? Here's one. America was anxious, and feared it was losing the air of opportunity that had allowed it to be what it was—expansive, generous, future-trusting. It was losing faith in its establishments and institutions. And someone came out of that need who led—who was wise and courageous and began to turn the ship around. And we saved our country, and that way saved the world. 

There's a narrative for you, the only one that matters. Go be a hero of that story. It will get around. It will bubble up.

Read the whole thing.  Sure is nice to have the old Peggy back...

Another One Bites the Dust...

Anwar al-Awlaki is dead, the means unspecified (not that it really matters)...

Coffee! Now!

Via colleague Aleck L., a poster that instantly made me think of Debbie.  For some reason.

Phone Outage...

Way out here in the nether regions of Lawson Valley, we had a telephone outage yesterday.  We didn't find out what the cause was until Debbie stopped and talked with the repair crew.  It seems that some thieves, night before last, climbed ladders up the utility poles, cut through the phone cable between several poles, and made off with the wire to sell as scrap copper.  The chart at right shows the motivation: the price of copper is roughly four times what it was in 2000, though in the past few days copper prices (like those of nearly all commodities) has been plunging.

Gophers aren't bad enough?  We have to have copper thieves, too??

Did You Know?

This was just too good to not share.  I have no idea (and neither does Snopes) whether this story, allegedly written by a rancher, is true – but it is plausible.  And damned funny.  By email from a friend in Estonia who prefers to remain anonymous:

I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that since they congregated at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away) that it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, who had seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes my deer showed up…3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it. It took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope and received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope with some dignity. A deer, no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I originally imagined. The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head.

At that point I had lost my taste for corn fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death. I managed to get it lined up to back in between my truck and the feeder…a little trap I had set beforehand. Kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and started
moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head…almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the bejesus out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that when an animal like a horse strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape. This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond I devised a different strategy. I screamed like woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that the re is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong
and three times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now when a deer paws at you and knocks you down it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

Now for the local legend. I was pretty beat up. My scalp was split open, I had several large goose eggs, my wrist was bleeding pretty good and felt broken (it turned out to be just badly bruised) and my back was bleeding in a few places, though my insulated canvas jacket had protected me from most of the worst of it. I drove to the nearest place, which was the co-op. I got out of the truck, covered in blood and dust and looking like hell. The guy who ran the place saw me through the window and came running out yelling "what happened"

I have never seen any law in the state of Kansas that would prohibit an individual from roping a deer. I suspect that this is an area that they have overlooked entirely. Knowing, as I do, the lengths to which law enforcement personnel will go to exercise their power, I was concerned that they may find a way to twist the existing laws to paint my actions as criminal. I swear….not wanting to admit that I had done something monumentally stupid played no part in my response. I told him "I was attacked by a deer.” I did not mention that at the time I had a rope on it. The evidence was all over my body. Deer prints on the back of my jacket where it had stomped all over me and a large deer print on my face where it had struck me there.

I asked him to call somebody to come get me…I didn't think I could make it home on my own. He did.

Later that afternoon, a game warden showed up at my house and wanted to know about the deer attack. Surprisingly, deer attacks are a rare thing and wildlife and parks was interested in the event. I tried to describe the attack as completely and accurately as I could…I was filling the grain hopper and this deer came out of nowhere and just started kicking the hell out of me and BIT me. It was obviously rabid or insane or something. EVERYBODY for miles around knows about the deer attack (the guy at the co-op has a big mouth). For several weeks people dragged their kids in the house when they saw deer around and the local ranchers carried rifles when they filled their feeders. I have told several people the story, but NEVER anybody around here. I have to see these people every day and as an outsider…a "city folk"…I have enough trouble fitting in without them snickering behind my back and whispering "there is the dumb-ass that tried to rope the deer.

Taking Cain Seriously...

Unlike Rick Perry, Herman Cain I know a bit about.  I've been reading about him ever since his (failed) run for the GOP Senate candidacy in 2004.  I had a personal interest in one of the other candidates (a Democrat with whom I'd had some truly awful business dealings), but Cain turned out to be the more interesting candidate in that race, his loss notwithstanding.

The main thing I see in Cain that I like is not directly political at all.  It's this: he appears to be a normal human being, self-made, and competent as hell.  There are darned few other players on the national political stage about whom I could comfortably make that statement.

But until this week, the punditosphere hasn't seemed to take Herman Cain seriously at all.  He was rather cavalierly dismissed as “unelectable” and third-tier.  With what I know today, given a choice between voting for Cain and voting for any conceivable Democratic opponent (i.e., Obama or Clinton), Cain gets my vote in a walk.  You might think that's not much of a statement, as you might think that any conceivable Republican candidate should win that contest.  However, for most of the matchups I can imagine (say, Obama v. Romney), my inclination is to decline to vote – as it's largely a waste of my time.  Cain would get my vote (again, with what I know right now)...

But the punditosphere may be recalibrating Mr. Cain...

Better Definition of an Ampere...

A breakthrough involving graphene may lead us (finally!) to a definition of the ampere directly derived from the electron charge...

Intimidated Republicans...

Via reader Simon M.:

Somewhere there's a newspaper headline editor who either (1) badly needs a refresh of his idiomatic English, or (2) has an excellent sense of humor!

A Fact of Life...

Via my colleague Aleck L.:

Giant Solar Flare...

NASA is tracking a large sunspot group, named Active Region 1302 (or AR1302).  One of its satellites captured this image of AR1302 emitting a gigantic flare.  The photo inset of the Earth is there to give you an idea just how big that flare is.  Via APOD, of course...

They Ate What?

Via reader Doug S., these stories of things that pets ate.  The grand prize winner's photo is at right: a dog taken to the vet for lameness in a hind leg, but X-rays showed nine handballs where they shouldn't oughtta be...

Inbred Cat...

A visual pun, via my lovely wife:

The Blues in Jamul...

Kate, my nonagenarian mother-in-law, has been visiting with us for the last three weeks.  Yesterday we put her on the plane for her trip home.  Despite being very frail and unable to walk more than a hundred feet or so in a push, and living in fear of just about everything (as a butterfly landing on her would probably cause a bruise), she was willing to leave the safety and familiarity of her home in Indiana to come spend some time with us (and our four dogs and eight cats). 

The dogs were good; they didn't jump on her and knock her down.  Even the cats seemed very careful around her.  And she had a good time with us, especially some shared sight-seeing drives and meals out (something she doesn't get to do much of back home). 

As Debbie says, it's a mixture of both sadness and relief to see her go.  Sadness, because we know we won't see her again soon (and at her age, we have to wonder if ever), and because we enjoyed her company.  Relief, because it is inevitably a lot of work to weave care and attention to her into our lives, and her stay disrupts the usual peace and calmness in our country home.  So yesterday after we put her on the plane Debbie and I had a bit o' the blues...

I'm feeling better this morning, though!

Cats and Dogs...

Via my mom:

Excerpt from a dog's diary...

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing! 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!  3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!  5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!  7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!   8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!  11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpt from a cat's diary...

Day 983 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.  Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow – but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now.

My Weird Family, Continued...

My sister finds more weird and awesome mushrooms in her yard...

Three Logicians Walk Into a Bar...

 

Excellent!

What Is This?

Dry ice on Mars, in the process of sublimating.  From APOD, of course.

Writing Unmaintainable Code...

A treatise on how to write programs that are very difficult to maintain.  As any experienced programmer will recognize, the techniques are commonly found in code that wasn't (presumably) intentionally written to be unmaintainable.  Even though it might as well have been.  An example:

Creative Miss-spelling
If you must use descriptive variable and function names, misspell them. By misspelling in some function and variable names, and spelling it correctly in others (such as SetPintleOpening SetPintalClosing) we effectively negate the use of grep or IDE search techniques. It works amazingly well. Add an international flavor by spelling tory or tori in different theatres/theaters.

But do go read the whole thing...

A USB Typewriter?

This may be an elaborate hoax, but it sure looks real.  The tagline looks like a joke, though:

The USBTypewriter™ is a new and groundbreaking innovation in the field of obsolescence.

The claim is that this fellow has developed a circuit board that can be attached to any old-fashioned mechanical typewriter, converting it to a USB keyboard input device.  From a technical perspective, this is completely plausible.  From just about any other perspective, it's some degree of crazy (and leaning toward very crazy).  Here's the company page, the Etsy storefront, and below is their marketing video.




I'm pretty much speechless...

Faster Than Light?

More than likely you heard the news yesterday: scientists at CERN have made the results of an experiment public – and those results seem to indicate that a beam of neutrinos traveled between two locations at a speed greater than the speed of light.

If verified, this is a remarkable result that turns much of modern physics on its head.  It's as if someone discovered that one plus one doesn't always equal two.

Probably in the end it will turn out there was some flaw in the experiment – but maybe not.  After all, it's a fine group of scientists who performed the experiment repeatedly, and got the same very unexpected results every time.  More here, here, and here...

Email from My Mother...

I received the following email from my mother this morning:

To save the economy, on September 27, 2011, the government will start deporting old people (instead of illegals) in order to Lower Social Security and Medicare costs.

Old people are easier to catch and will not remember how to get back home.

I started crying when I thought of you.

RUN, YOU OLD BUZZARD, RUN!

Does your mother call you an “old buzzard”?

Trello Upate...

I posted very briefly about Trello last week.  I've been using it ever since to keep track of my personal “to do” list, and so far it's proved to be the single most usable such implementation I've run across.  For a developer, the checklist feature is absolutely perfect – I can plan out all the little steps involved for a new feature I'm adding, and then run through them.  I can add or delete or reorder these steps as I go.  I can attach screenshots and documents willy-nilly.  I have yet to run into something that I want to do, but cannot.

Nice job, Fog Creek!

Richard Feynman...

Long-time readers will already know that Dr. Feynman is one of my personal heroes.  I recently ran across something I'd read years ago – his appendix to the Rogers Commission report on the Challenger disaster, containing personal observations.  It's a masterpiece in its entirety, but I'd completely forgotten the last sentence:

For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for nature cannot be fooled.

The man had a real talent for cutting through the clutter and crap that more ordinary thinkers get distracted by.  Awesome...