But now I've discovered the real purpose of Twitter: to deliver one-liners! And at twaxed.com they collect the best of them. Some that made me laugh out loud:
programming is a lot like sex. One mistake and you could have to support it the rest of your life.
Hi. I'm in a staff meeting. There are 83 ceiling tiles in our meeting room. And 8 light fixtures, with 24 fluorescent bulbs. That is all.
I am not a sex addict. I have restless groin syndrome.
My personality test results came back. They're negative.
Just looked up "assiduity" on dictionary.com; definition: "obsequious solicitude." Next up: finding a synonym for "Fuck you, dictionary.com"
When peeing on someone, the element of surprise is everything.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
If men had their periods, they would brag about the size of their tampons.
Talking of crap tv, I would rather watch cat vomit slide down the screen than watch the stuff on TV now!
I am absolutely going to dropkick my work computer out a freaking window today. It is not cooperating AT ALL.