Saturday, March 31, 2012

I Come from a Family With Unusual Abilities...

But we're all different.  This is my brother Scott:

Taxes...

I'm “doing” my taxes today. 

In other words, I'm spending my own time (valuable at least to me) computing how much money our federal and state governments are going to steal from me.  I do this only because I will be fined or jailed if I do not.  I know that 90%+ of the money they steal will be spent in ways that I do not approve of.  I have no choice in this matter; the bureaucratic thieves are going to win.  It's as if I were forced to allow burglars to come into my home, hold me at gunpoint for a day while I compute how much they're going to steal, and then help them load up their truck.

You can probably guess my mood.

That is all.

More Dog Humor...

Mac Hacks...

Here's a nice collection of little OS/X hacks.  One example, from many: have you ever wanted to change your keyboard's repeat rate?  Now you can!

Graphs in Google Search...

I don't know when this happened, but Google's search bar graphs now.  Who knows what else it does?  To see an example, click on the link...

Nine Peeves...

Looking at things from a dog's perspective...  If your dog could talk, some things he might say. Via my mom:
  1. Blaming your farts on me... Not funny. Not funny at all!
  2. Yelling at me for barking. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG!
  3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
  4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
  5. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Woo hoo!  What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
  6. Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
  7. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
  8. Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
  9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?