Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Vote Democrat!

My brother Mark explains why he's going to vote Democrat:

I'm voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I'm voting Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as NOBODY (not a soul) is offended by it.

I'm voting Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they're doing because they will NOW just begin to think we're good people.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday CAN tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as THEY see fit.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe three or four pointy headed elitist liberals need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would NEVER get their agendas past the voters.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe that when the terrorists don't have to hide from us over there, when they come over here I don't want to have any guns in the house to fight them off with..

I'm voting Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whomever or whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse.

I'm voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

I’m voting Democrat because Nancy Pelosi knows that we don’t need to drill for oil, and won’t allow a true vote in Congress to permit drilling in our own Country. I think sending $700 Billion per year to the Middle East, is good for my future.

I’m voting Democrat, because “we need change”, and I don’t have the time to listen, pay attention, and research what that means to MY future.

Makes ya wonder how anyone would EVER vote Republican now doesn't it?
Mark lives in New Jersey, which means that I can't really tell if he's serious about supporting the Democrats, or if this is a sarcastic rant. If you're not familiar with the general political climate in New Jersey, here's a calibration: I'm pretty sure that if Lenin were running in an election there, he would be the right-wing candidate...