Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Watching Hillary...

I did not watch Hillary's speech last night – that is not the sort of thing that I could stand to sit through an entire hour-plus of. But, thanks to the magic of the Internet, this morning I watched several clips of the “highlights” of her speech. Here's some things that occurred to me as I watched:
  • Her loss to The One has spared the U.S. citizenry from possibly dangerous exposure to one of the worst public speakers on the national stage since the dawn of television.

  • What's up with the bright orange pantsuit? As my retinas burned, I had two thoughts: (1) she looked like a sort of psychodelic Chairman Mao, and (2) Sheriff Joe Arpaio must have been involved in the design.

  • Those bulging eyeballs have to be mechanically aided somehow. Normal human anatomy does not include eyeball pusher-outers.

  • Jaysus, woman, the shriek – please, please, please do something about the shriek!

  • I didn't detect even a whiff of genuine support for The One – my overwhelming impression was of someone bulling through an extremely uncomfortable duty in a minimally acceptable fashion, giving off vibrations of righteous indignation that nearly shimmered in the air. The frequent cut-aways to Mrs. One showed her looking less-than-thrilled, and it's easy to understand why.
Hey, I didn't promise you intellectual stimulation at 5 in the morning!