Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Seen on the Internet today...

Seen on the Internet today...

Good question!

Life in Paradise...

Life in Paradise...  We woke up to rain this morning, and it's supposed to continue through Friday morning.  No working outside for Scott and I today...

Debbie and I went out to Angie's for breakfast today, and we each had a giant meal even though it was billed as simply “two eggs and ...”.  Mine included about a pound of hash browns, a thick slab of ham, and two (delicious!) biscuits and butter.  Debbie had cottage potatoes, Canadian bacon (two big pieces), and rye toast.  Stuffed to the point of near-immobility, we were.

Two tables away from us was an extra large booth intended for large parties.  Nine girls who appeared to be high school age were there, laughing, giggling, and generally having a great time.  With them was one adult woman, who looked a bit frazzled by the experience.  Those girls were very cute, though – especially when their “scones” arrived.  What Angie's calls a scone is a giant pancake-shaped confection about 14" in diameter, made of something similar to donut batter and covered with honey, cinnamon, and butter.  They are delicious, but they're ridiculously huge and quite evil.  These girls ordered three of them, with great excitement, and the managed to eat most of them.

After we left Angie's, I stopped at the Logan IFA to pick up some bird seed and spray for our lawn.  The fellow who rang me up struck up a conversation, and asked how my morning was going.  I said “Oh, great!  I just got finished having breakfast at Angie’s!”  Without missing a beat, he said “Oh, then I’ll carry those bags out for you.”, all very matter-of-factly, as though it was common knowledge that anyone who has just eaten at Angie's would be incapable of carrying something heavy.  And you know what?  I think that actually is common knowledge here :)

My mother, she sends me things...

My mother, she sends me things...  Like this:
Butch The Rooster...

Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Sarah's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.

Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
I don't even know what to say :)