Bidding on the Impossible Job...

I ran across this funny story about someone advertising a request for bids on an impossible programming job – and then getting (apparently) serious responses!

After I was done laughing, though, I started thinking about my very first programming job (that is, programming I did for money).  It happened much as in this story, except that it was before the Internet, so it all happened by snail mail.  Here's the outline:

The year was 1976.  Don Tarbell (founder of the then-famous Tarbell Electronics) had some very successful S100 boards, most especially his floppy disk interface.  He wanted a low cost Basic interpreter that he could sell along with his floppy boards; something that would compete with the dominant Microsoft Basic.  So he placed an ad in a computer hobbyist magazine (probably either TCH or Byte, but I've forgotten) asking for a quote on a Basic interpreter, written using “structured programming” techniques.  The ad was short, and very light on details; I'm sure Don was expecting it to be a catalyst for a more detailed discussion.

At that point I was still enlisted in the U.S. Navy.  Someone pointed out the ad to me, and suggested that I respond.  Those who know me will have trouble understanding just how incredibly naive I was back then about the ways of business.  Well, maybe they'll have trouble :)  Anyway, there were several very good reasons why my responding was completely crazy.

For starters, I had no idea what Basic was.  I'd never seen Basic, never written any Basic programs.  In fact, I'd never used a high level language of any kind.  My entire programming experience at that point was in machine code and assembly language (which, to me, was a high level language - macros!).

Then there was the niggling little detail that I didn't have any kind of programming environment.  I owned a 4MHz Z80 computer that I'd built from a kit, with 64 KB of RAM (woo hoo!).  The 5V linear power supply on that thing weighed about 50 pounds, and the computer put out enough heat to warm up a good sized room.  But there was no mass storage on it, and I didn't even have an assembler program.

Another challenge was that I didn't actually have a business yet, and I knew utterly nothing about contracts.  I also knew absolutely nothing about negotiations, or licensing, or anything else that smacked of business.

What I did know how to do was to write assembly language programs.  I figured that nothing else really mattered much.

So I wrote Don Tarbell a letter.  It was hand-printed in ink on Teletype roll paper, which is what I had at hand.  I wish I had a copy of that letter, but I don't.  It wasn't very long, and I can relate the important details from memory: I told Don that I'd write that Basic interpreter for $2,000, and that I'd deliver it in four months.  I dropped it in the post and forgot about it.

A few weeks later, I got a letter back from Don, telling me that if I could deliver that interpreter by the agreed date, he'd buy it from me.  As I recall, he had just one specific request: he wanted it to eliminate line numbers.  I agreed to his conditions and got to work.

Much later I had a conversation with Don wherein he told me that he had received several bids.  Most of them were for well over $100,000.  The bid closest to mine was for about $50,000.  The fastest delivery time quoted was close to a year, and a couple of them were for well over a year.  These bids were all from companies that routinely did programming jobs.  Don could tell from my letter (posted from the U.S.S. Long Beach!) that I was absolutely an amateur.  He judged it quite unlikely that I could deliver a usable product in the time given, but he also figured the risk to him was zero – so why not give me a chance?  That's the only reason I got the contract.

But back to my project.  The first thing I had to do was to get some kind of mass storage on my system – so I bought a couple floppy disk drives and a floppy interface card from Don.  Then I had to get an assembler.  I found a complete code listing for one in a magazine, typed it all in, got it to work, and then modified the crap out of it.  I added capability for “long” symbols (more than 6 characters!) and lots of debugger enhancements.  All this preparation took about a month of my four months, so I had just three months left.

I got to work.  I got a bootleg copy of Microsoft Basic and just played with it until had learned what the Basic language was all about.  I had no idea how to write an interpreter, and I had no reference material to work from.  There was no Internet for me to Google.  So I just thought about how to make one, and started writing code.  All my assembly language experience served me well during this work.  I understood a lot about how to write compact and efficient code, and I understood the capabilities and limitations of the Z-80 (that was my target machine) very well.  Interpreters for a simple language like Basic are actually quite straightforward beasts.  You don't have to worry about concurrency, for example.  The challenges were mainly in getting the code small enough to fit easily in 16 kb or less of RAM while still be fast enough to be useful. 

As things turned out, I spent most of my development time in two areas: the floating point math package, and the string package.  I probably spent two solid weeks simply on printing a formatted number.  Those areas were really the only parts that turned out to be difficult to write.

I wish I'd kept the notes and “design documents” for all that work, just to amuse myself (and perhaps others).  The designs were all done in my own made-up pseudocode, in pencil on scratch paper.  The pseudocode mostly made it into the assembly language comments, which helped when debugging.  I made liberal use of macros for some of the common structured programming constructs (such as  a “while” loop). 

Don would call me every few weeks, I suspect just to see if I'd given up yet.  As the delivery date approached, Don started to sound a little excited – the list of remaining Basic commands to implement started getting quite short.  In fact, I finished them all by about three weeks before the delivery deadline – but of course I had numerous bugs, some of them quite nasty “crashers” that would take out the entire system.  For that last three weeks or so, all I did was test, debug, and fix, in a cycle that seemed to repeat endlessly.

Just a couple of days before the deadline, I started to gain some confidence that I had built something deliverable.  My test programs were largely working.  There were some performance issues (especially with transcendental functions, like sines or logarithms), but in general my interpreter was faster than Microsoft Basic.  That really isn't an apples-and-apples comparison, as the Microsoft interpreter worked on 8080 machines (which the Z80 was compatible with, but extended).  I took advantage of the extra power of the Z80, which by that time dominated the personal computer scene.  But still...to beat Microsoft at that game felt pretty good.

I didn't sleep at all for the two days prior to the deadline.  I spent that entire time polishing every little thing I could.  Then I climbed into my beater of a car and made the drive up to Carson, California (a hundred miles or so north of where I lived at the time) to deliver it to Don.

When I walked into his shop I was  entranced.  Hardware was everywhere, and there were dozens of floppy systems set up for assembly or testing.  Don dropped everything else and we sat down together to install and demonstrate the interpreter on his system.  We had no trouble at all, really. He typed in a few short test programs, and got a big grin as they all worked just like he expected.  He then told me he had a “test suite” (something I'd never heard of at the time :) that he'd written and wrung out on Microsoft Basic, and he wanted to try it on mine.

That was a terrifying moment for me.  Once he'd explained what the test suite was, I instantly saw both the utility of it and the nearly infinite possibilities it provided for failure.  I was agonizing about this as he loaded up that test suite and kicked it off.  It printed out its progress as things went along, with the name of a test followed by “OK”, “Error”, or “Delta”. after it.  The “Delta” meant the result was different than Microsoft Basic, but not necessarily wrong.  As I recall, his test suite had about 200 tests in it, and the results were about 150 OK, 10 Error, and the rest Delta.  I was behind Don as he ran this, so I didn't know how he was reacting until he turned around.  He had an ear-to-ear grin, stuck out his hand for a handshake, and said “Accepted!”  Later he told me that he expected it to crash on his test suite, and that he was astonished to find it in such close correspondence to Microsoft Basic.  Whew!

Don handed me a check for $2,000 and took me out to lunch.  He then asked if I'd be willing to contract with him for enhancements and bug fixes.  My assumption was that the bug fixes were my responsibility, so when he said he was willing to pay for them I was very happily surprised :)  That started a collaboration that lasted several years.  Don kept coming up with ideas for enhancements, and we constantly nibbled away at performance issues.  He was delighted to be able to boast that Tarbell Basic (as he named it) was faster than Microsoft Basic, even though that wasn't one of the initial requirements.  That collaboration is what got me started on a career in software.  What a start!

Tarbell Basic never was a big commercial success for Don.  I know he got some satisfaction from it, though, and he did more than recover his costs.  After Don was done with enhancements, another company (the now-defunct NH Research) decided to use it for their line of automated power supply testers, based on the IEEE-488 bus.  They wanted some enhancements specific to their needs, and they contracted me to provide them.  So that project provided me with much-needed income even after Don was done with it, into the early '80s.

For years afterward, I assumed I'd never hear about Tarbell Basic again.  But then came the Internet, and some (crazy!) people who decided it would be a good idea to write simulators for Z80s and CP/M that ran on modern computers, and to curate all this ancient software.  There's a sizable community of these folks, and they've collected a large number of software packages – including Tarbell Basic (Don eventually put the source code for it in the public domain).  My name is all over the source code, and my name is easy to Google – and it wasn't long after that that I started getting queries from these new/old hobbyists.  Probably I've averaged two or three queries a year since about 1996; the last one was just last week.  Sometimes the queries are questions, sometimes requests for enhancements or bug fixes, and sometimes angry accusations about my incompetence (that's what the most recent one was :). 


I don't have any interest in running that old code myself.  But I sure wish I had those old notes!

Spider Termination...

Governor Awesome squashed a spider in front of some school kids the other day.  They applauded (see video below).  PETA calls it a “thoughtless act”.

Hmm...  Seems quite thoughtful to me!

Somehow when I think about PETA, the drums of doom start playing in the background...

The Wisdom of Humorist Steven Wright...

Via my cousin Mike D.:

• I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.
• I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
• Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
• Half the people you know are below average.
• 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
• 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
• If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
• All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
• The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
• I almost had a psychic girlfriend, But she left me before we met.
• OK, so what's the speed of dark?
• How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
• If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
• Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
• When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
• Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
• Hard work pays off in the future; laziness pays off now.
• I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
• If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
• What happens if you get scared to death twice?
• My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
• Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
• If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
• A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
• Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
• The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
• To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
• The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
• The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
• The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
• Everyone has a photographic memory; some just don't have film.
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
• If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?

FJ Cruiser: Skids...

I purchased All-Pro's series of skid plates last month, including the transfer case/exhaust skid plate.  With some help from All-Pro a week or so ago, I got the front suspension skid installed.  I needed their help because the front-most holes in the skid weren't in the right place, or so I thought.  The real problem turned out to be some new parts (new for the 2013 model year) that All-Pro had never seen before.  These were small formed brackets.  When these brackets were removed, the front suspension skid fit just fine.  I was able to get the transmission skid plate in by myself; everything fit fine on it.

But then when I went to install the transfer case/exhaust skid, I ran into several fitment issues.  The worst one was that (again!) the front-most holes were in the wrong place.  This time there were no extra parts for me to remove, so I was stuck again.

I'm very impressed with the design and build quality of All-Pro's parts – but what has even that beat is their service.  These folks know they're dealing with a noob when they work with me, but they didn't hesitate to offer their help whenever I asked.  This time was no exception.  I drove up to Perris with my transfer case/exhaust skid, and Nick went to work on my truck.  To my great relief, he ran into the same issues I did – so it wasn't something completely dumb that I was doing.  It took him almost three hours, but he eventually got my skid installed.  He had to modify it slightly (drilling out those front-most holes to a larger diameter), but mostly what he did was to put things together in the right order and then pry, knock, bump, and cajole the parts into place so they could be bolted in.  I learned a great deal about the art of fitment in the face of annoyingly loose Toyota tolerances.  In fact, if I had any idea what I was doing I could have done all the things Nick did with my tools at home – but there is that pesky problem that I don't know what I'm doing :)

Bottom line: if you need armor for your FJ Cruiser, I recommend All-Pro without reservation.  Great products, service, and people!

In the end, I drove home with all three of the main skid plates installed.  The bottom of our FJ is now armored quite nicely; we'll have to try very hard to damage anything.  I still have a little more armor to install: the lower links for the rear suspension have their own cute little skids (four of them, one for each joint), and I have a rear differential skid on the way here.  After that, we're “armored up” and ready for bear...

The Kid and the Camel...

These two get along very well...


Sorry about the no blogging yesterday - I was on the road to Perris, California to get my transfer case/exhaust skid modified and installed...

Smithsonian Photo Contest Winners...

Seven beautiful images.  Here's one taken by Bjorn Olesen in Borneo:

Thunderstorm Over Montana...

Via APOD:

This Is How To Apologize...

Niall Ferguson is a historian and author who has written several books I've greatly enjoyed (especially his The Ascent of Money).  Apparently he made some comments about John Maynard Keynes a few days ago that greatly offended some people, and he has apologized publicly for them.  I haven't heard or read the remarks, so I don't know what the kerfuffle is all about.  The apology, however, stands out from the usual for what it doesn't have: any attempt to evade responsibility.

Our politicians could learn a few lessons from Mr. Ferguson.  Sanford, Weiner, Bloomberg, et al – I'm looking at you!

Geek Humor...

Passed along by friend and reader Simon M.:

House Finch Babies...

Captured a few minutes ago...


We can see four little beaks in here. Either one of the five eggs didn't make it, or one baby is buried!

90 Year-Old Does a Double Backflip...

...and friend, former colleague, and reader Doug S. is very impressed:

An Old-Fashioned Self-Reliant American Speaks...

...from New Jersey, where they are an endangered species (here in California, they are almost extinct).

What Makes People Think He's Smart?

Yesterday Obama gave a speech in Mexico in which he said:

“Drug-fueled violence in Mexico is not entirely the fault of the Mexican people, he said. Instead, the United States shares the blame because much of the violence is centered around the Americans’ demand for illegal drugs and the fact that guns are smuggled into Mexico from the United States.”

Is Obama even aware of Fast & Furious?  Does he have any clue at all just how tone-deaf that sounds to any American familiar with the news?  Yeah, there were a bunch of guns smuggled from the U.S. into Mexico, all right – by a U.S. government sponsored program - run by the Obama administrations very own Eric Holder!

Good grief.

He's lame, all right...

A Governor Who Shoots Semi-Automatic Rifles...

Now what state do you suppose he's from?  I'll give you one guess, and the first two don't count:

Quote of the Day...

By Peggy Noonan, writing about President Obama:

He's not a lame duck, he's just lame.

Women of the NRA...

“Fiendish” Cipher from WWII...

Via Bruce Schneier, this fascinating story of a POW sending coded messages in his letters to his family...

DIP...

“DIP” (or Dependency Inversion Principle) sounds very odd to me...

FJ Cruiser: Rear Bumper Complete...

Here's the promised photo of the completed rear bumper.  Debbie found an awesome hitch receiver cover that hasn't arrived yet (a milled copy of the “Don't Tread On Me” flag) which will provide the finishing touch.

The orange arrow points out the rear quarter panel plastic that I worked so hard to preserve (much hand sawing was involved with this!).

The blue arrow points out the backup lights.  I've physically installed them, but have not yet wired them up (that's a job for tomorrow).  These are 55 watt halogen bulbs that are used as the headlights in many cars – should light up the world behind me quite nicely when I'm backing this thing up!

The green arrow points out the hitch receiver (2" Class IV). 

The yellow arrow points out the D-ring hard points.  These are on both the front and rear of the vehicle, and provide a very convenient attachment point for winch lines (if someone else is pulling us out of trouble).  All of these can hold the entire vehicle weight.  With these plus the rock rails, we've now got great attachment points all the way around the vehicle.  In addition, both the bumpers and the rock rails make fine places for the hi-lift jack to get under.

I'm headed up to All-Pro (in Perris, California) on Monday to get their help with the transfer case/exhaust skid plate.  They don't know any reason why it won't fit other than some design change to the 2013 FJ model.  I'm the very first customer of theirs to attempt fitting all this stuff to a 2013, so I'm the one running into the fitment issues.  There have only been a couple issues so far, and in both cases the fine folks at All-Pro have committed to me that they would make it right.  For instance, in the current case of the transfer case/exhaust skid plate – they've told me that if they can't make the standard one fit, they'll make one for me that does fit.  Can't really ask for more than that!

I Shouldn't Be Surprised...

California's current political context, with Democratic super-majorities in both Houses and a leftist, progressive (Democratic, of course) governor, means that it's possible for California to advance outrageously crazy bills and get them signed by the governor.  For some reason, I keep getting surprised when they do so.

Here's another one in the works – it hasn't passed yet, but the oracles are predicting that it will.

The problem his new bill is addressing is one of those features of ObamaCare with supposedly unforeseen consequences – that were actually completely foreseen by many critics: the “employer mandate” that requires any employer of more than 50 full-time workers.  Many employers in the service sector (restaurants, movie theaters, hotels, etc.) will simply move as many employees as possible from full time to part time.  If you're running a business, this is an obvious tactic to avoid the (large) additional expenses of ObamaCare.  Of course they're going to move those workers to part time – and they should, in order to keep their prices low and competitive.  Any business that didn't would instantly become less efficient and less competitive than it should be.

So imagine you're a California legislator.  What do you do in the face of this?  Well, of course what you do is outlaw moving workers to part time!  Make it illegal for a business to run efficiently, or to compete effectively – yeah, that's the ticket!

The drums of doom beat ever closer.  Especially in California...

Baby House Finches...

Asleep (at 6:45 am):

FJ Cruiser: Rear Bumper...

I'm currently working on the rear bumper and some additional lighting (more on that in a later post).  At right is what the back of the FJ looked like after I finished disassembling the factory rear bumper.  The blue arrow points out the steel core that's hidden deep inside the plastic cover (purely cosmetic) of the factory bumper.  That steel is quite sturdy, unlike the plastic cover.  The red arrow shows the rear quarter panel with the pretty plastic removed.

The challenge for All-Pro (the maker of my new bumper) was that the pretty plastic for the rear quarter panels needed to remain intact - but that plastic is made out of a single piece that incorporates both rear quarter panels and the plastic cover of the bumper itself.  In the photo below you can see this piece as it looks when removed from the vehicle, at a point when I'm about halfway through the modifications - modifications that involve drilling and sawing the plastic!

The red arrow points out the hand saw I used to make most of the modifications (the use of this kind of saw was recommended by All-Pro).  The saw has a yellow-and-black handle, and the blade is pointed away from the camera.  If you look closely you can see the kerf of the cut I've already made across over half the width of the bumper plastic.  The blue arrows point out areas that are now open, but used to be solid plastic – these I removed by drilling a hole to allow the saw to start, then sawing all around the edges.  Finally, the yellow arrow points out the left rear quarter panel's pretty plastic – salvaging this is the entire point of the modification exercise.

Hacking away at the plastic of my brandy-new FJ was a little wierd :)

At this point the new bumper is mounted, though a few little details remain.  I am waiting for some lights to arrive so I can install them in the provided holes for the bumper.  We've also ordered a nice hitch receiver cover that I'll install, as it will be a while before we actually use that hitch receiver for anything.  I've also got a few details left, like re-mounting the mud flaps.  When that's all finished, I'll post a photo of it.

Debbie took a close look at the new bumper yesterday and pronounced it “studly”.  I think she's convinced that even i cannot hurt our new FJ now...

The armor on the bottom is about half finished.  The front suspension skid is completely installed, as is the transmission skid.  The transfer case/exhaust skid has a fitment problem which All-Pro is investigating for me.  I've installed one of the four lower link skids; I got stopped by nuts torqued on so hard I simply could not remove them with tools in hand.  However, I've now got a 24" breaker bar, and that will hopefully do the trick!

How A Democrat Thinks...

First, make sure that no one you care about can see or hear you.  Then imagine you're a prominent Democrat.  Pause here to take a stiff drink if necessary; you may want to book a therapy session now if you're so inclined.

Ok, now consider how you should react to your colleague Senator Max Baucus' statement the other day – he said that the implementation of your beloved ObamaCare by the Obama administration was a “train wreck”.  Should you berate him for breaking ranks and sounding like a (gasp) Republican?  That's tempting, but in a moment you'll see that that would be an amateur response.  Should you ignore him?  Nope, better not, as this is starting to get some media attention.  Should you attempt to refute him?  No, no, that just won't do.  First of all, Senator Baucus, most unfortunately (from your Democratic perspective) has the facts on his side.  Even worse, the low-information sheep-like voters that you depend on won't understand the argument, as it would inevitably contain words with more than two syllables and would require an actual understanding of how government and economics work.  Nope, none of these options are good.

So, Mr. Prominent Democrat - what should you do?

Here's where you have a chance to display your mastery of what passes for political discourse in this country.  Here's where you turn what looks like a colleague's defection into a stellar opportunity.

How?

Why, you agree with Senator Baucus, of course.  The Obama administration's implementation of ObamaCare is a train wreck - because we're not spending enough money on it!  Those nasty Republicans are causing problems for ObamaCare by refusing to sink even more money into it!

There, now, see how it's done?  You've just applied political jujitsu to a nasty situation, and turned it to your advantage.  Way to go, Senator Reid!

Of course, the real problem here is that the citizens of Nevada keep re-electing this piece of buzzard excrement.  Why?  You'll have to ask them.  I'm afraid I just cannot fathom it...

Even After He's Dead...

Via my lovely bride:

Quote of the Day...

By Lew Rockwell:

Sadly, we have been conditioned to believe that the job of the government is to keep us safe, but in reality the job of the government is to protect our liberties. Once the government decides that its role is to keep us safe, whether economically or physically, they can only do so by taking away our liberties. That is what happened in Boston.

Exactly.

Old Programmers Don't Just Fade Away...

The software development world (it's management, anyway) in general has a bias against older programmers.  Back in the bad old days when I was part of management, I heard this expressed directly and forcefully, all the way up to the Board level.  The assumption is that older brains are slower brains, and that the extra experience of the older programmers was more than offset by the energy and freshness of the younger folks.  Recruiting in most software companies is (whether subtly or overtly) oriented more toward younger programmers than older.

This study says that bias is wrong...

Sage Advice...

Via my mom:

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.."Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us." She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: "

"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

Hurricane on Saturn...

NASA is calling it “The Rose”.  I'll call it awesome:

Climate Change Causes Prostitution...

I'll bet you didn't know that!  But several CongressCritters have said so, therefore it must be true.  Right?

Well, wait a second.  First, all thirteen of the CongressCritters making this assertion happen to be Democrats.  That's either a pattern or a one-in-8192 coincidence.  I'm going with pattern.

Then the sponsor is Representative Barbara Lee.  That certainly sets off the alarm bells, as Ms. Lee is a veritable poster child for radical progressivism in the U.S.  You'll not be surprised to hear that she's represented a San Francisco Bay district for the past 15 years.

So let's tote this up:
– bill is sponsored by Barbara Lee
– Barbara Lee is from California, San Francisco Bay area
– bill is supported by 13 Democrats
– bill blames climate change

I think we could make an a priori case for the premise being false.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that climate change does not cause prostitution.

I'm having trouble laughing about this.  Crying seems more appropriate...

Monday Morning Palate Cleanser...

Quote of the Day...

Mark Steyn:

There is a stupidity to this, but also a kind of decadence. Until the 1960s, it was assumed by all sovereign states that they had the right to choose which non-nationals were admitted within their borders. Now, to suggest such a thing risks the charge of “nativism” and to propose that, say, Swedes are easier to assimilate than Chechens is to invite cries of “Racist!” So, when the morgues and emergency rooms are piled high, the only discussion acceptable in polite society is to wonder whether those legless Bostonians should have agitated more forcefully for federally mandated after-school assimilationist basketball programs.

Read the whole thing...

Llama and Goat Update...

Several readers wrote wondering what happened with the llama and goats that showed up at our place earlier this week.  Well, thanks to one of our neighbors (Mike S.) we discovered that the owner was another neighbor (Mike W., about a half mile away) who had recently acquired this animals.  Mike W. came over on Thursday and we roped a couple of the goats, and he took them home.  The llama (named “Katie”) wasn't willing to be captured, so we just left our gate open.  Sometime on Saturday, she apparently started missing her little goat-buddies, and she took off back home.

We are now a llama- and goat-free zone again!  We suffered a little bit of damage to some of our trees (especially, of all things, the palo verde tree).  Worse, one of the damned goats chewed the starter cord for my lawnmower in half, so now I have to fix that thing...

A Close Encounter...

Yesterday afternoon I had a close encounter of the rattlesnake kind, in our yard.  This is a routine summer occurrence out here, but this was the first of this calendar year.

I had all four dogs on leashes, and was walking past our pines, when I heard a fuss, a hiss, and lots of bird squawking.  Just to my right, about six feet away, a pair of tiny canyon wrens was doing battle with a fairly large western diamondback rattlesnake.  The wrens almost certainly have a nest in the vicinity, and were being good bird parents, getting that snake out of the area.  The snake was quite unhappy at the unwanted attention it was getting, and was striking repeatedly at the wrens – but they were too quick for him to ever actually hit them.

I hustled the dogs back into the house, and got our snake stick (a roughly six foot long stick with a pair of tongs operated by a handle – lets me safely pick up snakes).  Debbie got an empty five gallon plastic tub.  When I grabbed that snake and picked it up, we got a good look at its size – about four feet long and roughly 3.5" in diameter in the middle.  A big 'un!

Into the tub he went, and I bungeed down the top.  I hauled him off to a remote area and released him, far from any homes or domestic animals.  Usually when I release rattlesnakes, they sort of slowly slink away.  This guy was still really upset, and he came straight for me, striking at the toe of my (heavy work) boot.  No damage done, but certainly got my heart rate up!

Reader Recommendation: General Contractor, Jamul Area...

Reader Steve K. (who lives “down the hill” in Jamul town) asked me to pass along his recommendation for a general contractor based in Jamul.  Gladly!  Says Steve:

I love getting first hand recommendations for products and services and I‘ve gotten several from you and your readers over the years via your blog. Now I’d like to return the favor. I recently completed a large project at my house that involved grading, foundation, concrete, framing, electrical, and plumbing work. Initially I was shopping around for individual contractors that worked in these various trades, but it began to occur to me that there were going to be things that fell in the gaps between the trades, and I was going to have to handle them.

Then I found Custom Construction Company right here in Jamul – a general contractor. The wonderful thing, in my experience, about using a general contractor is that they can bridge the gaps between the trades, and for things they don’t do (e.g. insulation and drywall in my case) they have trusted subcontractors that they’ve developed a close relationship with over many years.

This is a family business (3 generations) and the owner (Darren) is very patient, easy to communicate with, incredibly knowledgeable, and very fair. Because of his years of experience, he also has great ideas in the design department. The 2 things I want to emphasize about my experience are the integrity and comfortable style that Darren brings to his work and the incredibly high quality of the work Darren and his son Jason provide. Their attention to detail is unbelievable. I actually used another company (that I’d already signed a contract with before I found them) for a part of my project and the contrast between the two companies was striking. The other company was what I seem to find more and more these days – guys with almost no experience and little skill working as “installers” or “technicians”. The folks at Custom Construction Company are true craftsmen and I can’t recommend them highly enough. You can reach them at 619-669-6339.

The True History of Grits...

Via cousin Mike D.:

The True History Of GRITS


What Are Grits?

Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn.

These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.


How Grits Are Formed:

Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in the South, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for dinner and supper is out of the question).

Yankees have attempted to create synthetic Grits. They call it Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children.


Historical Grits:

As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert . After that, Grits were not heard from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this time only during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public due to their rarity.

The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.)

The 10 Commandments of Grits
I. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
II. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife
III. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy ..
IV. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits.
V. Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits.
VI Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits.
VII. Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits.
VIII. Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits.
IX. Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch.
X. Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven.


How to Cook Grits:

For one serving of Grits:
Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. [Use milk and they are creamier!)
Add 5 Tbsps. of Grits.
Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water.
When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to cooking grits.

How to make red eye gravy
Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and biscuits.


How to Eat Grits:

Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of butter or red eye gravy (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter.)

In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because they cause cancer, rotten teeth and impotence.

Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore, for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.)

Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork.

The correct beverages to serve with Grits is black coffee. (DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk) Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think it's cream of wheat.


Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:

(Leftover grits are extremely rare)
Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish,
Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight.
The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass.
Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown.
Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of course, unacceptable.


BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS

May the Lord bless these grits,
May no Yankee ever get the recipe,
May I eat grits every day while living,
And may I die while eating grits.

AMEN

Limnanthes douglasii

Common name “poached egg plant” or “yellow and white Douglas' meadowfoam”.  Native to northern California and Oregon, and occasionally further south.  My dad and I saw this in Lassen National Park about six years ago, before the big fires there.  Via BPOD, of course...

Bad News About Grandpa...

Via reader Simi L.:

An elderly man had a massive stroke and the family drove him to the emergency room.

After a while, the ER doctor appeared wearing a long face.

“I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.”

“Oh, dear God,” cried his wife.  “We've never had a liberal in the family before!”

Now We Know...

Now we know what Alexander Graham Bell actually sounded like...

Obamacare is for the Little People...

The little people like you and me.  Our betters don't want it, that's for sure.  Will they have the gall to pull this off?  Wouldn't surprise me one bit.

Note that both parties are talking about this.

Rope.
Tree.
Congresscritters.
Some assembly required.
Speed may be of the essence.

Parable of the Stones...

Here's a story about Steve Jobs that I hadn't heard before.  Read through the italicized part for the parable.

That parable resonates strongly with me.  Ideas are worth very little by themselves, and they're not the hard part of creating a product.  It's the execution that's hard – all the myriad of things that have to happen for a great product to be shipped.  Generally speaking, when you look back at the totality of what it took to ship a great product, the original idea for the product will seem like an insignificant part of the overall effort.  The parable is about the team that takes an idea to a beautifully executed product...

Out of Your Password Minder...

This is very funny, and though it's about a technical subject, it's presented in a way that would make sense to anyone.  Via Bruce Schneier...


She says that Password Minder is a real product, but I couldn't find it for sale online. I did, however, find an obsolete link for a product named "Password Minder" to a page on the TeleBrands site, so I suspect they've pulled the product after they realized what a dumb idea it was...

17 Shakespearian Insults...

Keep this list handy; it will be useful anytime you need to communicate with a politician or a bureaucrat.  My favorite is at right...

Boston Marathon Bombers' Mother...

First, listen to this interview with her:


Then read Rachel Lucas' reaction. She says it ever so much better than I could.

And yes, my hand did involuntarily levitate...

Three Years of the Sun...

...in just three minutes!

You Just Never Know...

You just never know what might happen out in our corner of Lawson Valley.

Yesterday I was working under our offroad vehicle (an FJ Cruiser), installing some protective metal (a “lower link skid” over a vulnerable part of the rear suspension.  On my back, on the ground, wrenches in hand and working over my head, I heard an unlikely munching sound – much louder than I'd expect to hear from a rabbit or ground squirrel.  So I squirmed around until I could look in the direction of the munching, and what do I see?  Three goats and a llama, calmly munching away on one of our shrubs, not 20' away from me.

Good grief!

These animals weren't familiar to us, though we do know about one place about a mile away that has llamas and sheep, and maybe goats.  No tags were to be found, though the larger nanny goat had a fancy spiked collar that could have had a tag.  So I left a note in the mailbox of the known llama-keeper, and I put up a sign ("Found: 1 llama and 3 goats") at the intersection of Lawson Valley Road and Rudnick Road.  As of this morning, we got one call from someone whose pygmy goat was lost a couple months ago.  She was disappointed to hear that we didn't have her pygmy goat, but she offered to take these guys off our hands if we couldn't find the owner.  If the owner doesn't contact us by this afternoon, she and her kids are going to suddenly have an abundance of ornery animals!

Just When...

Just when you feel like it's time to give up on humanity (or maybe just Americans), along comes a story like this.

I feel better now...

Beautiful Nature Photos...

Via my mom (one sample below, see the rest here):

KFPS Royal Friesian Horses...

Via my mom, the KFPS Royal Friesian Horse:

Shameless...

The little people in California are being screwed again.  No surprise there, really, though this is a little more blatant than usual.  Consider:

– California, under Jerry Brown's “leadership,” decides to build a high-speed railroad.  Not between two cities that could conceivably need such a thing, as California has no such pair of cities.  Not even between two large cities, as we can't possibly raise the gargantuan sums required to do this.  No, instead we're building a high-speed “demonstration” railroad that has no intent of actually making sense.  It's just a way to muster the political will to get this turkey started.

– The job is put out for bid under a set of rules designed to balance technical merit and price.  Fair enough.  But the initial set of rules would have eliminated the California-based firm Tutor Perini, along with a Swedish firm.  So the California High-Speed Rail Authority quietly, secretly changed the rules in mid-process, to allow Tutor Perini's bid to be considered.

– Tutor Perini was declared the winner.  Their bid was the lowest price (by a wide margin), and also scored the lowest on technical merit (also by a wide margin).  Something to note: Tutor Perini has been frequently accused of “lowballing” their bids – deliberately submitting unreasonably low bids to win, then finding ways to jack up the price as the job proceeds.  In fact, they have been remarkably successful at doing so.

Now the part where we get screwed: the principal owner of Tutor Perini is Richard Blum.  If you don't know that name, you will most likely recognized the name of his wife: Diane Feinstein, one of our California Senators.  The political operators would say here that the optics look bad.  I say something else: there's no way this happened without corruption, however subtle and soft.

Rope.
Tree.
A whole bunch of politicians.
Some assembly required.

Saved!

Try to picture this: a woman is being mugged on the front porch of her house.  She hollers for help, and the help comes running.  A 47 year old man whips out his 29 inch long Samauri sword and comes after the mugger – who hightails it out of there, eyes big and round, and later turns himself into police.  Probably afraid for his life!

Now who would you expect that savior to be?  Perhaps a truck driver?  A construction guy?  Some salt-of-the-earth type, right?

How about a Mormon bishop?  Yup, for real.

I know several Mormons, and count several of them amongst my friends.  I cannot imagine any of them behaving like this, so I suspect this isn't some pattern, some result of their awesome religious training.  But still...I can't help but think that someone who would run into battle with a sword would find tough going in most other religious hierarchies :)

Perception of Motion...

Here's some interesting new science results investigating how we perceive motion.  As is often the case, the research leans on optical illusions (new to me) for the investigation.

The more I learn about how our visual perception, the more amazed I am at our brain's ability to derive vast amounts of information from relatively crappy sensors (our eyeballs).  None of us would be happy with a camera that performed as badly as our eyeballs do – and yet, our overall visual perception (brain included) is better than anything we know how to make...

Oh, Nooz!

Via reader and (former) colleague Doug S., this disappointing news: a major retailer (Williams-Sonoma) has decided all on their own to stop selling pressure cookers.  But only in Massachusetts.  And only in brick-and-mortar stores.  An employee says “It's a temporary thing out of respect.”

Well, I have some self-respect, too.  And it tells me that I won't be buying anything at Williams-Sonoma anytime soon, as I'm not interested in lending even the slightest support to such craven posturing...

Oh, My...

Via my mom, this impossible-looking contortionist.  While watching her perform, I found myself wondering if this video had been manipulated – but a little googling shows that Nina Burri is for real, a Swiss contortionist, dancer, and model:


Best Earth Day Rant Evah...

George Carlin says what I'd like to say, but in a far more entertaining manner than I ever could:

Surprise, Surprise, Surprise!

Progressive pundits are chagrined to discover that the Boston Marathon bombers didn't have valid gun permits.  It was illegal for them to carry weapons.  It was also illegal for them to possess the explosives they used.  Oh, and we're not sure yet whether the guns they used were legally or illegally purchased, but given their status, they were likely illegally purchased as well.

Why are they chagrined? 

Because this rather pointedly displays the utter futility of the stated purpose of gun control laws.  The fact that their weapons and explosives were illegally obtained and used didn't slow down these two terrorists.

Also, there are widespread reports that the weeks events have caused many a Boston-area resident to reconsider their opposition to personally owned weapons.  Reality appears to have slapped them upside the head...

Algorithmic Trading...

Here's a good primer on the basics of algorithmic trading, something that practically every programmer involved in electronic trading considers doing at a personal level.  It's harder than most people think it is!

There's a plug in here for Interactive Brokers, the company that acquired FutureTrade, whom I used to work for...

Drums of Doom...

There are days when I wake up uncertain what country I'm actually living in...

Fly Like a Bird, Fly With a Bird!

Via my mom:

My Kind of Humor :)

Mark Steyn vs. Political Correctness...

Mr. Steyn is not happy with those who see the world through “Princess Fluffy Bunny” glasses.  A sample:

The politicization of mass murder found its perfect expression in one of those near-parodic pieces to which the more tortured self-loathing dweebs of the fin de civilisation West are prone. As the headline in Salon put it, “Let’s Hope the Boston Marathon Bomber Is a White American.” David Sirota is himself a white American, but he finds it less discomforting to his Princess Fluffy Bunny worldview to see his compatriots as knuckle-dragging nutjobs rather than confront all the apparent real-world contradictions of the diversity quilt. He had a lot of support for his general predisposition. “The thinking, as we have been reporting, is that this is a domestic extremist attack,” declared Dina Temple-Raston, NPR’s “counterterrorism correspondent.” “Officials are leaning that way largely because of the timing of the attack. April is a big month for anti-government and right-wing individuals. There’s the Columbine anniversary, there’s Hitler’s birthday, there’s the Oklahoma City bombing, the assault on the Branch Davidian compound in Waco.” Miss Temple-Raston was born in my mother’s homeland of Belgium, where, alas, there were more than a few fellows willing to wish the Führer happy birthday back when he was still around to thank you for it. But it was news to me it was such a red-letter day in the Bay State. Who knew? At NPR, “counterterrorism” seems to mean countering any suggestion that this might be terrorism from you know, the usual suspects.

But do go read the whole thing!

Nutella and Bananas...

Yum!  Just do it!

Spies in the Hotel Viru...

The very first time I ever visited Tallinn, Estonia, about 20 years ago back in the early '90s, I stayed in the Hotel Viru.  It was a memorably bad experience.  My bed was a straw-stuffed pallet placed on top of cinder blocks, and that was the highlight.  I stayed in the Hotel Viru again, many years later, and had a much more pleasant experience.

On my first visit there, our Estonian (though ethnic Russian) hosts warned us about the bugging of the Hotel Viru – apparently it was well-known amongst the locals.  Now 20 years later, here I am reading about it in the Smithsonian Magazine!

Horsehead Nebula...

This time, it's not from APOD!

FJ Cruiser: Grommets...

When I installed the roof lights on the FJ Cruiser, I ran the wires back through one of the steel tubes of the roof rack.  At the time, I tried installing rubber grommets and running the wires through them, but that didn't work out at all – the wires couldn't be pushed through the starting grommet (rubber-on-rubber is a lot of friction!), and I couldn't fish them out of the ending grommet (that danged hole was too small!).  So I just ran them through the bare metal, and figured I'd do something afterwards to fix them up.

Grommets (the rubber kind) serve several useful purposes.  They help weatherproof the penetration, though generally grommets aren't completely waterproof on their own.  But the most important thing they do is to keep the wire's insulation from being scraped off by the sharp metal of the penetration.  That's vital, and I didn't want to drive very much without solving that issue.

My first idea was to somehow suspend the wires so they didn't touch the metal, then form some silicone RTV around them.  Once the RTV cured, in effect I would have manufactured a custom (and completely weatherproof) grommet.  But I know from experience that RTV doesn't stand up all that well under full sun and weather exposure, so I searched around and found another similar material that is supposed to handle outdoors exposure better.  This material starts out with the consistency of Duco glue, though – not as viscous as RTV, and therefore not quite as “moldable”.

Then a crazy idea occurred to me.  What if...I took an ordinary rubber grommet and snipped through it, so that I could thread it onto the wire already in place?  Then I should be able to stuff it into the hole, surrounding the wire.  Then I could coat it with this new-fangled sealant and I'd have the best of all worlds.

So I tried it.  Bottom line: it worked.  The details: oh, man, is it a pain in the patoot to stuff a rubber grommet into a hole already occupied by wires!  I used a small flat-blade screwdriver to get enough pressure on it to pop it in, one tiny little piece at a time.  It took me about 20 minutes per grommet to get them in, and I had 6 grommets to do.  Once I had all the grommets in place, sealing them up was easy.  The new sealant seems to stick to the rubber material just fine, and it wicked up all the spaces between the grommets and the wires quite nicely.  Should be watertight now!

FJ Cruiser: the Rock Rails...

I've been looking forward to installing the rock rails (or “sliders”) on our FJ, as they're one of the things that change the appearance.  I got them on today, as you can see in the photos.  These are the All-Pro APEX “Extreme Duty” rock rails, which I selected based on the many positive reviews I found online.

The folks at All-Pro have consistently been very helpful (perhaps taking pity on me, as they met me when I picked up my order).  This was especially so with the rock rail installation, as I quickly discovered this morning that the instructions didn't seem to match what parts I had.  With a couple of emails, the folks at All-Pro set me straight: the instructions were for their standard rock rails; the APEX rock rails are constructed slightly differently and have a simpler installation.  Once I got myself educated, installing the rails was a snap.  Each rail bolts directly to pre-existing threaded holes in the FJ's frame.  The bolt holes in the rock rails are elongated to provide a little “slop” in the alignment, but in my case none was needed – the fit was perfect.

If you're not familiar with rock rails, they are designed to protect the side of your vehicle should you bang the side into a rock.  This happens most often when your in a place where your vehicle is tilted sideways on rough or slippy-slidey ground.  In these circumstances it's very easy for your vehicle to move a foot or more to one side as you try to drive through the patch.  If there happens to be a bit rock (or wall) next to you, your vehicle might very well end up scraping against it.  I'd much rather scrape these tough, relatively inexpensive rock rails than the thing sheet metal of the body!

FJ Cruiser: New Tailpipe...

The stock FJ Cruiser tailpipe, for some unknown reason, dips down low in the back.  It's perfectly suited for getting snagged on something you just cleared on a rough road – a root, a boulder, etc.

All-Pro makes a replacement tailpipe, which I bought a couple of weeks ago and installed this morning.  It is routed entirely up high, and much straighter than the stock tailpipe.  The photo at right shows the new tailpipe installed (delineated by the red line I drew down its middle).  The shock mount hanger is hard to see, but one of its mounting bolts is pointed to by the blue arrow.

The connection between the muffler and the tailpipe is via a dual bolt flange, which made this job look like it would be super easy – just remove two bolts and the old tailpipe comes out.  But getting those two bolts loose was a major evolution, as they were very tightly in place.  One of them I managed to turn with a socket wrench, using both arms with everything I could put into it.  The second bolt I couldn't move with my arms at all.  I went through some gyrations to get an impact wrench to bear on it, but even that wouldn't budge the bolt!  In desperation, I put an 8" long box wrench on the bolt head, and used my boot to push the wrench using my legs – and that worked, though just barely.  Once I got it to turn an entire turn, then I could work it with my socket wrench.  What a pain!

Fortunately, the new one went in much more easily than the old one came out...

Evolution of Music, a Cappella...

I recognized everything up through the 1970s, and maybe half of the 1980s.  Everything after that was new to me (and didn't make my ears happy!).

When I was a teenager, I was astonished when my parents forbade me from playing Joni Mitchel or Simon & Garfunkel on our family's record player.  It was easier for me to understand why they didn't want to hear Crosby, Stills or Jimi Hendrix.  They must have felt then as I feel today listening to this music of the 2000s...

Makes Me Cry Every Time...

This is the third or fourth video of an Operation Smile patient I've seen.  I cry every time, just trying to imagine the joy brought by this life-changing procedure...

What Happens...

If you wring out a sopping-wet washcloth in zero gravity?  Watch:


On one level, this is a fascinating experiment and a great demonstration of one effect of gravity's absence.

On another level, it's a little sad that NASA has to resort to things like this in its efforts to justify the ISS.  It would be ever so much easier to justify if the ISS was producing exciting, useful, or surprising science results, instead of parlor tricks...

Sprengelia propinqua...

Common name western swampheath, native to Tasmania.  Via BPOD, of course...

Mystery Image...

Chances are that you will not be able to figure out what this image represents.  Even if I told you that it was a heat map.  Even if I told you that the axes represent the integers 1..50 (increasing left-to-right and top-to-bottom).

Give up?

The brighter colors represent smaller numbers, the duller colors larger.  The heat map shows the number of digits in the product of x and y, as expressed in Roman numerals.

Figuring out why there are visual patterns to the result is left as an exercise for the reader.

Yes, this is the work of Nick Berry – who else would it be?

House Finch Nest...

On our covered patio, just outside the door to our living room, we have a house finch nest.  The nest looks like it's about to tumble down, though some gentle tugging shows that it's more secure than it looks.  Its position just outside the main entrance to our house means that the poor mother bird is getting disturbed quite a few times a day – she flies away each and every time we use the door.

Yesterday I stuck my iPhone up there to see if there were any eggs.  To my surprise, the nest had five eggs in it.  Taken together, these eggs seem to be about the same size as the mama bird, which seems unlikely.  A little research shows they have between 2 and 6 eggs, though, so this probably isn't all that unusual.

Bowed, But Not Broken...

Check out the photo below, showing a small sheet of 1/2" plywood sitting in the roof rack of our FJ.  I took this photo on Monday, when we were having some rain (about a tenth inch, nothing to get all that excited about).  The sheet was perfectly flat the day before, but look at it now!

The rain hitting the top side of the plywood soaked into the wood, causing it to swell a bit.  The bottom of the plywood remained dry, and therefore didn't swell.  But the swelling is directional – the fibers of wood grow in diameter, but not in length.  The grain of the top ply of this piece toward/away from the position of the camera, so the swelling occurs in the left/right direction.  This swelling caused the bowing in the direction you can see.

Later on, the water soaked down further in the wood, to the next ply.  At that point, the piece warped a bit in both directions, making a very odd-looking piece of wood.

Today (Wednesday) the piece has dried out, and is completely flat again...

FJ Mods: Only When Running...

Some of the electrically-powered additions I'm making to our FJ Cruiser draw a lot of power – enough that leaving them on accidentally could easily run down the battery.  Two obvious examples: the four “headlights” I've mounted to the roof, and the 2KW inverter that I have yet to install.  To be safe (with respect to the battery) I'd prefer that these devices would only have power supplied to them when the engine is running.  Unfortunately there is no simple way to do this.  The stock vehicle does have power wires that are active only when the ignition is turned on – but that doesn't necessarily mean that the engine is running.

So I designed and built a little circuit to solve this problem.  It detects that the engine is running by sensing the battery voltage.  When the engine is not running, the alternator is not running, and therefore the battery voltage will be something less than 12.8 volts.  When the engine is running, the alternator is also running, and the voltage will be variable, but certainly over 13 volts (as measured in the FJ, it's generally over 14 volts.  So a simple comparator circuit, com)paring the actual battery voltage to 12.9 volts, does the job quite nicely.  The comparator's output drives a MOSFET relay driver, and the relay provides 30A that's on only when the engine is running.  Since I was going to this trouble anyway, a minor addition also provides a separate output that is on whenever the ignition is on.  This duplicates something already in the truck, but it does it with a separate relay and fuse – better than tacking it onto the stock system.

Here you see it all installed.  I put a pair of LEDs on the front, more for testing than anything else.  The relays are the four little cubes off to the right.

This simple little circuit provides a very clean way to power those “big draw” devices without worrying about leaving them on while the engine is off.  For we ancient and forgetful ones, this is very comforting :)  It was also very satisfying for me to be able to design, build, and debug an old-fashioned analog electronic circuit – it's been quite a few years since the last time I'd done that!

Is This Supposed to be Obama?

These “statues” of a black man and a white horse are along Japatul Valley Road, just north of the intersection with Lyons Valley Road.  The park signs are the same style as a county park, but oddly are on posts marked “private property”.  And then there's the statue, which bears a remarkable resemblance to Barack Obama.  That implies some sort of message, but we're not at all sure what that message might be.  If you google “Japatul Springs Park”, you won't get any hits showing it as a park in any jurisdiction.

There's much to be confused about here :)

These People Are Just Crazy...

And there are a lot of them!

Did Life Begin Before the Earth Existed?

Start with an unproven (but plausible) hypothesis: that the complexity of life grows at a constant exponential rate, just as so many other natural processes do.  Or, if you will, just like Moore's Law of integrated circuit complexity.  Then extrapolate backwards – given the complexity of life today, and an observed rate of growth, when did life have a complexity of 1 (that is, when did life begin)?

Two scientists have done this math, and have arrived at a date of roughly 9.5 billion years ago.  That's well before the Earth (or the Sun, for that matter) existed.

What does this mean?

One very real possibility is that the scientists are mistaken for some reason.  After all, they don't have any direct observational evidence for this date, just the extrapolation of a hypothesis – very weak ground to rest a theory on. 

The other possibility is that they are correct, and that would mean that life originated before the Earth did – and that the Earth was “seeded” with life through some mechanism (comet collisions are a frequently cited candidate).

It's an interesting ponder...

Quote of the Day...

From Defending Enterprise:

I find that a politician's syntax matters less when he cuts taxes.

Oh, yes indeedy!

This Is For Boston!

At a Muse concert last night, lead singer Matthew Bellamy called out “This is for Boston!” and then:


Maybe all is not lost...

I Am Ashamed of My State...

Again...

I Am Ashamed of My Congress...

Again...

I Am Ashamed of My President...

Again...

Political Correctness...

Abigail Esman is a writer who has written often about the horrors of female genital mutilation (FGM).  Recently she wrote an article in which she called FGM “barbaric” – and Amnesty International wrote her, saying (in part):

We try not to use this word. The use of the word ‘barbaric’ suggests that the people who do this are less than human, which isn’t so because they are being led by social pressure which is what needs to be fought. So we avoid using this word to not judge the people.

Ms. Esman doesn't think that's a good idea. Her conclusion:

These are the times I worry that we stand upon a precipice, and fear for the ideas and the ideals that form the fundament of civilization and democracy. We censor words and language, as Howard says, bending our knee to the tyranny of political correctness, concerning ourselves more with the sensitivities of the perpetrators than the lives and safety of the victims.

It was another British Home Secretary, Mike O’Brien, who famously said in 1999, “multicultural sensitivity is no excuse for moral blindness.” They are words we would still do well to heed.

Why Software Engineers are Pre-Disposed to Hate Product Managers...

Brilliant...

Lawyer Helps eBay Vendor Behave Badly...

Written like that, my headline sounds completely unsurprising, doesn't it?

Here's a case that just sounds outrageous – and also like one that should end in a crescendo of bad publicity for the vendor (and their lawyer!) involved.  The gist: the vendor sent a package to a customer with postage still due on it.  The customer left negative feedback for the vendor because of the postage due.  The vendor admits that postage was due.  The vendor is suing the customer for having left completely accurate negative feedback.

Popehat has issued a call for help, and Instapundit has linked to the story.  The vendor (Med Express) may not know it yet, but this is going to end very badly for them.  Which makes me feel pretty darned good!

Details here.  Here's the negative feedback, in all its glory:

Order arrived with postage due with no communication from seller beforehand.

As eBay feedback goes, that's pretty weak tea.  Here's the vendor's (rather lame) response, two days later:

Sorry- no idea there was postage due. This has happened alot from USPS lately.

Med Express, I have some advice for you.  Withdraw your suit.  Fire your lawyer, loudly and publicly.  Blame this behavior on him.  And make it up to your customer in some spectacular fashion...

Boston Marathon Bombings: Good Advice...

I read this entire column, nodding in agreement, before looking at the byline: Bruce Schneier.  The security sage is on the spot with some excellent advice:

As the details about the bombings in Boston unfold, it'd be easy to be scared. It'd be easy to feel powerless and demand that our elected leaders do something -- anything -- to keep us safe.

It'd be easy, but it'd be wrong. We need to be angry and empathize with the victims without being scared. Our fears would play right into the perpetrators' hands -- and magnify the power of their victory for whichever goals whatever group behind this, still to be uncovered, has. We don't have to be scared, and we're not powerless. We actually have all the power here, and there's one thing we can do to render terrorism ineffective: Refuse to be terrorized.

It's hard to do, because terrorism is designed precisely to scare people -- far out of proportion to its actual danger. A huge amount of research on fear and the brain teaches us that we exaggerate threats that are rare, spectacular, immediate, random -- in this case involving an innocent child -- senseless, horrific and graphic. Terrorism pushes all of our fear buttons, really hard, and we overreact.

But our brains are fooling us. Even though this will be in the news for weeks, we should recognize this for what it is: a rare event. That's the very definition of news: something that is unusual -- in this case, something that almost never happens.

Do go read the whole thing...

Agility Cat...

Yup, you read that right.  An agility cat.

Hmmm...

This surely would be a lot safer for Debbie than running a dog, eh?

This Could Be Our Dogs...

Where's My Toast?

Via my brother Mark:

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.

'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

'Sure.'

'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?' she asks.

'No, I can remember it.'

'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?'

He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'

'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?' she asks.

Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!'

Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.

'Where's my toast?'

Nineties? Hmmm...

Binary Instrumentation...

A software library published by Intel, free for non-commercial use, with lots of source code examples...

Thirty Meter Telescope...

It looks like it's really going to be built, on Mauna Kea in Hawai'i. 

Not so very long ago, the largest telescope in the world was the Hale Telescope, here in San Diego on Mt. Palomar.  That telescope is still in operation, 200" in diameter – a light-collecting area of about 20 square meters.  The Thirty Meter Telescope is 30 meters in diameter, giving it a light-collecting area of about 707 square meters – over 35 times bigger than the Hale Telescope.

Awesome!

Tax Day...

I'm angry.

You should be angry too, if you're an American.

If you've been even moderately successful in your career, today is the day when your federal government, and most state governments, forcibly steal a large fraction of your income.

Through the trick of employer withholding, the governments manage to fool most people most of the time; they scarcely notice the taxes they pay.  That's a real shame (though it was very clever politics).  I'm certain that if people had to write a check today for the entire amount of their taxes due, they'd be paying considerably more attention to this miserable day.

Then, too, if the politicians (being clever again, dang it!) had made Tax Day October 15th instead of April 15th (making it just before Election Day), I'm sure our taxes wouldn't be so high.

But here we are, handing over chunks of our income again.

You'll have to pardon me today, because I am having trouble seeing things straight.  My normally clear vision is being clouded by hallucinations of free-spending politicians being strung up like beans – and cheering crowds watching...

But the reality is...that I'll be avoiding jail by handing over way too much of my income to a bunch of incompetents in Washington and Sacremento. 

So I'm angry.

And you should be angry, too.

World's Shortest Books...

A great collection of titles, via my mom:

MY BLACK GIRLFRIENDS
By Tiger Woods
dedicated in memory to Wilt Chamberlain
___________________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan
Illustrated by Michael Moore
Foreword by George Soros
________________________________________

MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS
& HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
______________________________________

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton
_________________

Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
_________________

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
____________________________________

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
_________________________________

THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry
_____________________________________

GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart
____________________________________

HOW TO LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST
By Dr. Jack Kevorkian
__________________________________

TO ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED BEFORE
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnell
__________________

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson
__________________________________

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

_______________________________________

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson & Casey Anthony
_________________________________________

HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE SAFELY
By Ted Kennedy
_________

MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
With introduction by
The Rev. Jesse Jackson
and forward by
Tiger Woods with John Edwards
____________________________________________________

HOW TO WIN A SUPERBOWL
BY THE MINNESOTA VIKINGS
___________________________________________________

Just added:
MY COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE OF MILITARY STRATEGY
By Nancy Pelosi
________________________________________________________

And the shortest book of them all:
THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
by Barack Obama

Cats With Thumbs...

Someone thought about this:

Sometimes That Handgun Comes In Mighty Handy...

This fellow had something that is practically unobtainable here in San Diego: a concealed carry permit.  He used that to do some takin' care of business:

Flat UI Icons...

A nice collection of collections...

The Battery Problem...

The phrase “the battery problem” is shorthand jargon for a problem well-understood by those designing renewable energy systems (especially wind or solar).  The problem is that people need power when these renewable sources aren't available.  You aren't going to get a lot of solar power at night; this is the most obvious case.

The problem is slightly subtler than that, though.  If you look at solar power alone for just a moment, it turns out that you have to account for a lot more than just nighttime.  There is less solar power available in bad weather (like a snowstorm) than in good weather.  There is less solar power available in the morning and the evening than there is at noon (this is true even for systems that orient themselves to point toward the sun).

For all these situations, what's needed is a way to store power when it is plentiful, for use when it is not.  The conventional answer for this storage is a battery, specifically a lead-acid battery very similar to what is in your car.  This battery was invented over 100 years ago, and nobody has ever come up with anything that beat its cost vs. storage capacity.  But lead-acid batteries are far from ideal; in fact, in many ways they are simply awful.  If you've ever carried one of these beasts, you know they are full of environmentally-unfriendly lead.  And then there's the nasty acid.  Lead-acid batteries used in the way that renewable energy systems need to use them (deep-discharge cycling) wear out quickly, typically in three to five years – at which point they must be replaced.  That's an expensive proposition!

Hence the shorthand “the battery problem”.  Renewable energy is always going to be of limited value until someone solves the battery problem by inventing a way to store electrical energy that is cheaper, more reliable, and more environmentally friendly than lead-acid batteries.

Here's a Kickstarter project that's taking a stab at the battery problem, using another very old technique (mechanical flywheels) with some very modern twists.  Their own claims are for relatively modest improvement over the cost of lead-acid batteries, but with much higher reliability and vastly better environmental friendliness.  It's not a quantum leap, but it sure looks like an improvement.  They claim to be essentially finished with development other than the need for a better magnetic bearing, which is why they went to Kickstarter for some funding (a very modest amount, actually).  I don't know enough about the details of what they need to accomplish to be able to even think about their chances of success...but I wish them well.  It's a clever idea, and certainly we could use something better than those danged batteries!

More info (and explanatory videos) here, here, and here: