Obama's Opaque “Transparency”...

Via my mom:

The Wisdom of Mothers...

Via reader Jim M.:

No matter our age, we can probably all relate to this one:


I Owe My Mother .....

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM..
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.My mother taught me about STAMINA ..
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11.My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12.My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13.My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."

14.My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15.My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16.My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17.My mother taught me about RECEIVING*.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18.My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19.My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23.My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25.My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Boudreaux Gets a Job...

Via reader Jim M.:

Down in Lafourche Parish, Louisiana, Boudreaux gets a job with BP helping with the cleanup.

He reports for work and is told to speak to a supervisor about his assignment.

He finds the man and asks, "What it is I suppose to do?"

The supervisor tells him to go to the animal shelter and clean the pelicans.

Two hours later, Boudreaux comes up to the supervisor and says, "Okay. Dey all cleaned. You want I should cook some rice to go wid em?"

Views from Space...

A time-lapse movie made entirely of single-frame photos taken from the ISS:

I Built That...

Scott Brown isn't most conservative's (or libertarian's) idea of a perfect politician.  But he does get some things right:

Oh, Great...

The Obama administration wants to make it easier for those who owe money on student loans to avoid repayment.  Guess who would be on the hook for them?  Yep.  You and me, and all the other tax-payers.

Remember this when you vote in November, would you, please?

Walk or Run?

If you get caught in the rain without an umbrella, is it better to walk or run to a dry place?

This is a surprisingly difficult question to answer – but physicists have finally done it.

It's About Time!

It looks like scientific publishing is about to undergo a revolution, and it will probably look a lot like what arXiv has done to physics...

Starting Early...

One of the Cornett boys, from Leatherwood, Kentucky in 1964. 

One hopes this is not happening today, especially in America...

Via Shorpy...

I Built This...

I don't think Obama has heard the end of this...

Just Sayin'...

Woman.

Driving.

New Jersey.

Just sayin'...

Apollo 11 in Photos...

Those of us who have reached a certain age are likely to remember one thing about the eventful summer of 1969 above all others: Apollo 11.

I was nearly 17 that summer, and for the days (which seemed like months!) of the mission, I was completely consumed with it.  There was no Internet back then, and the TV news only had an hour or so per day of actual content.  My best source was the BBC News from London, which I picked up on a ham radio receiver.  The BBC had a flock of reporters on the story, all over the world; they did an amazing job of in-depth reporting, making the American news look just plain amateur by comparison.

For me, the most tension-filled moment of the mission is the one captured in the image above: the Lunar Module's ascent and rendezvous with the Command Module in lunar orbit.  Three men, a quarter million miles from home, meeting up in the unbelievable vastness of outer space.  It seemed such an unlikely feat, and yet they not only pulled it off, they made it look easy.

By the way, there was a slide rule along on that mission – and it was used :-)

The Atlantic has a nice collection of Apollo 11 photos...

Hoorah!

Via reader and colleague Doug S., this little story about the Marine Corps' response to PETA demonstrations outside the Marine base at Camp Pendleton (just north of San Diego).  PETA is protesting the Marine's use of the terms “leatherneck” and “wooly-pully”.  Most of us would just shake our heads in amusement at PETA's antics – and hope the demonstration would escalate to one of PETA's trademark nude protests.  The Marines, however, responded in a slightly different manner:

PETA protesters turned to what they called their only defense. Using out-of-tune acoustic guitars, the crowd sang songs of animal triumph over human oppression.

Both civilian and military police worked together to break up the melee because no one could stand the horrible PETA music any longer.

Peace talks have started, with top Marine brass explaining that leather hasn’t been used around the neck of a Marines uniform since long before PETA existed. Former CENTCOM Commander General James Mattis also joined in the discussion, saying that the protestors “should just go fuck themselves.”

We San Diegans are very fond of our Marines, for many reasons. One of those reasons is the Marines propensity for straight talking.

You tell 'em, General Mattis!

Fire Information – UPDATED...

It's time for my annual fire information page update.

Cameras are a primary source for ground truth when there's a local and active fire.  We learned the hard way in 2007 that local news sources are, for the most part, completely useless for “tactical” needs – if you're trying to find out about current fire location, current road closures, current escape routes, etc., these sources are just too slow.  Fortunately for us here in San Diego County, UCSD's HPWREN system has a network of cameras at over a dozen sites.  The images from these cameras are updated every two minutes, and they've got date/time stamps right in them – so you can be certain that the information you're viewing is current.  The main HPWREN camera site and a mirror site are both available.  I recommend getting familiar with the cameras most relevant to your location (for example, for us it's the cameras on Lyons Peak), and familiar with tools like Google Earth that will help you identify the landmarks you see in the HPWREN images.  During the 2007 fires, we found these cameras to be the single best tool available to us – we used them to plan our evacuation route, and we used them to track the fire's approach to our home (which, thankfully, it never reached).

There are other very useful web sites as well.  Here are three that I found useful during the 2007 fires:

California Department of Forestry: CAL FIRE Incidents

U.S. Deparment of the Interior/Department of Agriculture: GeoMAC

U.S. Department of Agriculture: Fire Data Web Services

If any of you know about other useful web sites, tools, or information sources, please let me know about them so I can share them with everyone...

UPDATED: There's a small fire (at least for now) over near Sycuan Casino, last reported at 20 acres and good progress being made controlling it.  In the course of researching this, I came across a new resource:

CAL FIRE twitter  (who knew?)

Also, here's the CAL FIRE San Diego County fire information number (only active duing major incidents): 619/590-3160

The IRS and the Black Market...

Suppose you inherited something that was once worth a lot of money, but now cannot be legally sold.  How should the IRS assess inheritance tax on that?

Well, the new owners say (of course!) that since it cannot be sold, it's fair market value is zero, so there is no tax.

The IRS says “Give us $29 million, right now!”

The whole story...

This is going to court, of course.  Care to bet on who wins?

I think most people would agree that here is a clear-cut case of theft (well, attempted theft, for the moment) disguised as taxes.  So far as I'm concerned, all taxation is theft if I didn't agree to it, but when I say things like that people just look at me like I'm crazy :-)

The Two-Egg Problem...

Examined in detail in a most geekly fashion.  Great geekly stuff!

Don't Take That Tone With Me, Fat Boy...

It's really, really hard to excerpt one of Iowahawk's satirical masterpieces.  This one – You Didn't Build That – is easier than most:

Then the economy heard the sound of the Lord Govt returning from vay-cay with the demigovts Osha and Tarp and Irs. It was the cool of the day, and they were hiding their profits from the Lord Govt among the trees of the garden. 26 But the Lord Govt called to the manufacturer, “Where are you?”

He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid, so I sought a tax shelter.”

And Govt said, “Who told you that your profits were yours? Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from? ”

The man said, “The retailer made me —she has a thing for serpents.”

Then the Lord Govt said to the retailer, “What is this you have done?”

And she said to the Lord Govt, “Don't take that tone with me, fat boy. And why should I give you my profits?”

Iowahawk made my morning. Go read the whole thing; it's not that long...

Explaining Physics to Turnips...

The inimitable Rachel Lucas, on the Italian press' reaction to the Aurora shootings.  Great stuff, as always...

I Certainly Could Do That...

Today's Dilbert strip is one that just about any corporate software developer will find wryly amusing:

My search for relevance marches on...

Amongst Scott Adams many talents is a gift for staying in touch with the geekdom he no longer is immersed in...

I'll Bet He's Still Laughing!