Sounds Perfectly Logical to Me...

But then, I'm a male.

Reader and friend Simon M. sent along this little story, which he says is perfectly logical to all males:

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have avocados, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

He replied, "They had avocados."

Well, with a sample space of one (me), the assertion proved true.  The implication is that the story wouldn't seem logical to a female.  Debbie and I were at dinner when I received this email, so I read the story to her.  She said that it made no sense at all – she'd ask the same question as the wife in the story.


Fascinating...


If you try this yourself, please report the results in the comments!

Geography Lesson...

Via reader Jim M.:

The Geography of a Woman

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.


The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran: ruled by a pair of nuts.

Which Hurts More?

Giving birth or getting kicked in the balls?  The age-old question has been settled:

Women always say that giving birth is much more painful than a guy getting kicked in the cojones.

They are wrong, and here's the proof.

A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."

You never, ever hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the cojones."

Women in Combat...

Some interesting thoughts from a female veteran, and this post has links to three other excellent articles, all thought-provoking.

If politics weren't part of the mix, I'd say there was a chance (albeit a small chance) that the military could figure out how to do this right.  Throw politics into it, though, and I think it becomes impossible.  And of course politics is in the mix, inevitably so, as Congress controls the military's purse strings...

Women in Combat...

Yesterday came the news that as one of his last acts before stepping down, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta will rescind the long-standing ban on women in combat roles.  For some roles this will take effect immediately; for others it will require development of implementation plans and a rollout strategy.

I have mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, I fully support equal opportunity for women and men.  The idea of a mommy coming home in a body bag doesn't bother me any more (or less) than the idea of a daddy coming home in a body bag.  If a woman can do the job (whatever that job may be), then by all means she should have the opportunity to do so.

On the other hand, I worry that the military bureaucracy will implement this mandate by watering down the performance requirements for combat roles so that more women can reach them.  The military will do this to win points from the Congress-critters who supply the armed forces with money.  Their excuse will be the statistical difference in abilities between the genders.  There are physical gender differences; for example, on average, a man can carry more than a woman.  There are gender differences in intellectual capabilities; for example, statistically men can read and interpret maps more easily than women.  Then there are cultural gender differences; men are more likely to be willing to endure the harsh field conditions of combat.

All of this means that if current standards in all these areas aren't changed, then relatively few women interested in these jobs will be able to meet them.  The military will feel pressured to lower those standards, and our Congress-critters will happily provide that pressure, in the interest of “fairness”.  This will make all the progressives happy, but it will result in a less capable military – something that I (and many others) would be quite unhappy about.

My prediction: in less than one year, we'll hear calls from Congressional Democrats (and not from Republicans) to “fix the gender discrimination” in the military's high standards.

Amen, Brother...

Via Bruce Kesler at Maggie's Farm:

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: ‘You want two lanes or four on that bridge....?"

Amen, brother...

The Women of the Right...

Many observers over the years (including your intrepid blogger) have noted that if there were a beauty contest between the women of the left vs. the women of the right, the latter would win – and not by a small margin, either.  The unabashedly objectifying video below is typical of these observations.  Said observers have been called cads, misogynists, idiots, and worse.

Now science has come to our rescue:

"Female politicians with stereotypically feminine facial features are more likely to be Republican than Democrat, and the correlation increases the more conservative the lawmaker's voting record," said lead author Colleen M. Carpinella, a UCLA graduate student in psychology.

The researchers also found the opposite to be true: Female politicians with less stereotypically feminine facial features were more likely to be Democrats, and the more liberal their voting record, the greater the distance the politician's appearance strayed from stereotypical gender norms.

In fact, the relationship is so strong that politically uninformed undergraduates were able to determine the political affiliation of the representatives with an overall accuracy rate that exceeded chance, and the accuracy of those predications increased in direct relation to the lawmaker's proximity to feminine norms.

There you have it. Science has proven the accuracy of what our eyes are telling us: hot female politicians are more likely to be conservative than liberal.

I'd like to see that study extended to Libertarian women.  From my own observations, I suspect they'd win the contest hands-down...

Just Sayin'...

Woman.

Driving.

New Jersey.

Just sayin'...

The Manslater...

It's about frickin' time someone invented this!

Gender Differences in Brains, Explained...

Have you ever wondered how a woman's brain works? Well, it's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

Everyone of those little balls are a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision to make, or a problem that needs to be solved.

A man has only 2 balls. They consume all his thoughts, and he sleeps like a baby.

Paycheck Fairness Act...

Being against something named the .“Paycheck Fairness Act” sounds like being against motherhood and apple pie, doesn't it?  Of course, that's the entire reason for the name in the first place.

This is such an obvious recipe for disaster that one hardly knows where to start.  It's really a way of imposing the sorts of controls over compensation normally associated with unions on the rest of society – the productive part of society.  The assumption underlying this act is that women are being paid less than men today for the same work.  I don't doubt that there's some of this going on, but I also don't doubt that in certain workplaces and in certain professions, men are being paid less than women.  The part of this that's very difficult to measure is the “same work” bit.  In my own profession (software engineering), women are quite rare still.  I don't know the exact numbers, but by my firsthand experience it's well under 10%.  My profession's male skew is exactly the sort of thing that laws like this deal with stupidly.  The assumption will be that the skew is prima facie evidence of underlying bias – and that pay differentials are the underlying reason.

Bottom line: if this law passes, eventually I will most likely be asked to take a pay cut.  Because I am a male.  Not because I'm incompetent, not because I've done something wrong.  Just because of my genes.

We are roaring headlong down the road to cultural self-destruction.  Remember that when you vote this November...

Funny Lady...

Jeanne Robertson is one funny gal.  Here she is talking about her husband, Left Brain.  Look her up on YouTube – she's got lots of clips like this up there...

Politically Correct...

Via my mom:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore, in order to be politically correct regarding women:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED-AMERICAN. '
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

And to be politically correct regarding men:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A*S' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION’
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants – it's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

Put Down Your Morning Beverage...

...then go read this!

Original Sin...

What could I possibly add to this?  Via my mom:

Is There Anything Good About Men?

A very interesting article by Roy Baumeister, and probably not what you're expecting from the title.  Recommended.

Quote of the Day...

Says Nikki Dowling, who has recently started dating other women:

Hats off to you guys who make picking roses look easy. 

Prior to reading this, it never occurred to me that a woman in a relationship with another woman might experience something closely akin to what a heterosexual man does.  Read it...

Women Cause Big Government...

Read it and think about it.  Does it match your own experience, no matter how uncomfortable being so politically incorrect makes you feel? 

It matches my experience in the aggregate, for sure.  By that I mean that if you took all the women whose political tendencies I'm aware of, and ranked them on a one-dimensional scale from leftish to rightish, the average would be well to the left of center.  Do that with the men whose political tendencies I'm aware of, and the opposite is true.  I can think of plenty of counter-examples on both sides (Anne Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Sarah Palin; Barney Frank, Harry Reid, Paul Krugman), but still...the overall gender difference is there, and fairly obvious.

So here's the obvious question raised: should repealing women's suffrage be an objective of the libertarian, conservative or tea parties?

Just sayin'...

Girls and Boys...

Look at the photos on the right.  One of them is a girl, the other a boy, right?

Wrong.

They're both photos of the same person.  The one on the left has had its contrast enhanced.  Our brains turn that little bit of information into a cue about gender.

That's one I never would have thought of...