The Bagpiper at a Funeral...

From my cousin Mike D.:

As a young piper, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played, and I played, like I'd never played before: from My Home and The Lord is my Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest.

I closed the lengthy session with Amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, “Jeezuz, Mary'n Joseph ... I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years.”

Heh!

Ah, Those Irish Catholics...

Via reader Simi L.:

Mrs. McGervey was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, 'Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. McGervey and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?'

She replied, 'Aye, that ye did, Father.'

The Father asked, 'And be there any wee little ones yet?'

She replied, 'No, not yet, Father.'

The Father said, 'Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.'

She replied, 'Oh, thank ye, Father.' They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, 'Well now, Mrs. McGervey, how are ye these days?'

She replied, 'Oh, very well, Father!' The Father asked, 'And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?'

She replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!'

The Father said, 'That's wonderful! And where might be yer lovin' hoosband?'

She replied, 'E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!!!

Heh!

Poster of the Day...

Phrase of the Day...

From Little Green Footballs:

Hope-a-Dope

Heh!

That Didn't Take Long!

Go here.

Lamestream Media, Being, Well, Lame...

Here is the complete text of a very short story posted by one Ben Knight, of the AP:

The political leader of Hamas has declared that his organisation won the recent war in the Gaza Strip.

Khaled Meshaal who is exiled in Syria, says Hamas stopped Israel achieving its aims.

On Wednesday, Israel's army said it had completely withdrawn from the strip, although troops will remain near the border and its spy-planes continue to fly over the territory.

News of the withdrawal sent people back onto the streets for the first time in weeks, as shops opened and people began restocking, after three weeks when many had barely left their houses.

While the fighting has ended in Gaza, the battle to rebuild the territory is just beginning and the destruction is immense.

Whole neighbourhoods have been literally flattened. People are sleeping out under carpets strung across the branches of trees.

The Hamas leadership is still in hiding.

I did a double-take when I read this. If you didn't, just read the first line and the last line, and skip the rest.

What is wrong with these reporters, filing credulous stories on such obvious BS? Are they paid to produce such propaganda? I'm truly beginning to wonder...

Quote of the Day...

From Andrew, posting at the Protein Wisdom Pub:

You just had to, didn’t you? You couldn’t just enjoy your victory, couldn’t just let the man slip away beneath the radar of your Profound and Righteous Contempt. You had to channel your inner adolescent and flip him one last bird, just in case we haven’t been privy, with diamond clarity, to your exact opinions on the matter. You just had to get in that final kick.

That pretty much sums up my feelings about the grace and maturity of what appears to be the majority of left-leaning folks as Obama takes over from Bush.

Some of you wrote to ask how I was feeling about Obama's inauguration, wondering about my silence. Well, the silence was mostly about being busy. But also partly because I don't have a lot to say. I wish Obama well, and I truly hope he will prove to be an effective President. Most of all I hope he keeps us safe.

But I'm not filled with the hopeyness and changitude that the left seems to be a bit...delerious...with. The main hopes I have are these: (1) that Obama's actual approach to this country's defense doesn't resemble his campaign rhetoric, and (2) that Obama's actual approach to this country's economic woes doesn't resemble his campaign rhetoric.

So far, I think I'm happier than most liberals are on those two counts.

The rest of what he does is about 5 levels down on my priority scale...

Mexico: Obama's Iraq?

From yesterday's edition of El Economista (a Mexican newspaper), which included the photo at right of a demonstration in front of the U.S. Embassy in Tijuana:

Indiscriminate kidnappings, almost daily beheadings, and gangs that scoff at government agents and kill them. No, it’s not Iraq nor Pakistan, its Mexico, which according to the American government and a growing number of experts is becoming one of the major world security risks.

The possibility that the neighbor of the United States could sink into violence and anarchy represents an unexpected challenge for Barack Obama’s next government.

In its most recent report about foreseeing possible risks to global security, the Joint Command Forces of the United States placed Mexico and Pakistan in the same category. It pointed out that both countries are in danger of a “fast and sudden collapse.” In its report published on November 25, the command pointed out “The possibilities that (that may occur in) Mexico appear small, but the government, its politicians, police and judicial infrastructure, are all under pressure and a sustained assault by criminal gangs and narcotraffic cartels. “The form that this internal conflict may take during the coming years will have a relevant impact on the stability of the Mexican government.”

One more challenge for Obama

The ex chief of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) Michael Hayden told the Mexican press on Friday that Mexico and Iran represented the major challenges for Obama, including over Iraq.

The Department of Justice of the United States pointed out last month that Mexico’s criminal gangs represent the “major organized crime threat for the United States.”
Stephen Hadley, national security advisor, said last week that the worsening of violence threatens democracy itself in Mexico.

The Secretary of Internal Security (sic) of the United States, Michael Chertoff, told The New York Times that he had ordered the elaboration of additional security plans, at midyear, to avoid that kidnappings and assassinations would extend into American territory.

The alarm is also extending into the private sector. Mexico, Latin America’s second largest economy and the third largest provider of petroleum to the United States, is one of the 10 principal global threats for 2009 identified by the Eurasia Group, consultants based in New York.

Mexico has underestimated the preoccupations by the United States.

On Wednesday, Fernando Gomez Montt, Mexican Secretary of Government, said “What does seem to me inadmissible is that the Mexican State be considered as a security risk. There are problems in Mexico that are being attended to, that can be attended to more and better, and that’s where we are, what exists is everyone’s absolute commitment.”

Nevertheless, Obama will find a very different panorama in the neighbor to the south, compared with what George W. Bush found. In 2000, when Bush was elected, Mexico had just elected Vicente Fox in elections considered the cleanest in history, which put an end to 71 years of a single party in power. Mexicans were hopeful of a stable and democratic future.

Fox suggested that he was ready to confront the narcotrafficking cartels, but he placed them in a power vacuum by arresting its leaders. Since then, gangs fight each other for territory.

Seeking to regain control, Felipe Calderón, who succeeded Fox in 2006, immediately placed military forces in the whole country. But the soldiers and police are outnumbered and outgunned, and the narcotraffickers have answered with unprecedented violence.

Deaths attributed to narcotraffic doubled from 2007 and added up to more than 5,300 last year. Mutilated cadavers, some without heads, show up in the streets of Ciudad Juarez and Tijuana practically every morning. Some victims are dumped at schools. The majority turns up wrapped in blankets and abandoned in empty lots.
Few cadavers are identified because relatives are afraid of coming to claim them. The majority of assassinations go unpunished.

The battling cartels continue controlling vast areas of Mexico, despite the offensive undertaken by Calderón more than two years ago.. They have let loose an extended culture of violence, from which no one is immune.

Some businesses have closed because their owners cannot pay the monthly extortion amounts which the local gangs demand. Many wealthy persons have fled to the United States so as not to join the list of kidnapping victims, a crime about which Mexico occupies one of the first places in the world. Others have decided not to leave their houses at night.

The government has also launched a campaign to combat corruption in its ranks, “Operation Cleanup” after some of its prominent security chiefs were accused of being at the service of the Cartel of Sinaloa, a northwestern state of the country.

Several soldiers who fight the narcotrafficking gangs were kidnapped, decapitated and dumped in a city to the south of Mexico (City), with a warning: “For every one of mine that they kill, we’re going to kill ten of theirs.”

Conditioned support

The United States government has manifested its support to the Mexican president decidedly (by) recently giving it more than 400 million dollars in assistance to combat drugs. Last week, Obama met briefly with Calderón in Washington and promised to combat the illegal U.S. firearms traffic destined to the Mexican cartels.
Although fewer Americans are willing to cross into the Mexican border area to enjoy a “margarita” or to buy handicrafts, visitors to other parts of Mexico continue to arrive. The Mexican economy seems more hurt by the global crisis than by the growing violence.

The gloomy perspectives arising from the border ruled the Mexican press headlines, but surprised few in Mexico.

Many say that the solution is for the United States to furnish more aid and to allow the entry of migrants who, otherwise, are tempted to dedicate themselves to drug smuggling to earn a living.

Otherwise, violence will propagate with more intensity toward the United States, said Manuel Infante, an architect.

“There is a wave of barbarism that is trying to reach you” said Infante, in reference to the Americans. “We are an uncomfortable neighbor,” he added.

It still amazes me how utterly invisible this problem is to most Americans – even those who live right next to hotspots like Tijuana...

Education...

An oldie-but-goodie via my cousin Mike, on the difference between teachers and educators:

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers ... and then there are educators...

Heh!

Oh, Great...

I'm sure you've heard that California has a budget crisis. You may not be aware of the astounding magnitude of the deficit we're facing: $42 billion, which is about $1,200 for every man, woman, and child in the state. That means that the state has spent $42 billion more than it collected in taxes and fees last year – and this rate of deficit spending is continuing at an even higher level right now (because the worsening economy has greatly reduced “revenues”, and spending has actually increased as welfare programs kick into high gear).

Our legistators and governor have demonstrated themselves to be brainless and irresponsible to a degree I wouldn't have imagined possible in a democracy. Apparently I have grossly overestimated the competence of the average voter, because we keep reelecting these evil clowns year after year.

But yesterday came some news that might just wake up some of the voters: John Chiang, California's Treasurer, announced that he'd have to delay payment on income tax refunds by at least 30 days. This will free up some cash ($3.7 billion) California needs to pay its bills. This is a wonderful illustration of the way politicians think about such things: they're simply going to steal money from the citizens of the state to pay the bills that they never should have incurred in the first place.

It's highly unlikely that any bureaucrat or politician will be held accountable for their actions. It's far easier just to steal money from the citizens.

Rope.
Forest.
Politicians in Sacremento.
Some assembly required.
Citizen help gratefully accepted.

Miracle on the Hudson...

Just like everyone else, I was overjoyed to find out that everyone on board Flight 1549 survived the crash landing into the Hudson River. I remember well the very different outcome when Air Florida Flight 90 crashed into the Potomac River on a wintry day in 1982, and when I first heard about Flight 1549 going down, that was the outcome I was imagining. The miraculous news came in about everyone surviving, and the later reports of the cool competence of the pilot and the instant competent reactions of ordinary people nearby...ah, that was a very good feeling, which I will cherish for some time, I think.

But I got to wondering about the cause of the crash that's being bandied about (no official cause has yet been released). The crew of the aircraft, and passengers who witnessed it, all say that Flight 1549 flew through a flock of geese that took out both engines. From friends in aviation, I knew that airports expended considerable energy getting rid of birds – and especially large birds like Canadian geese – from the areas around airports. They do this because “bird strikes” are well-known aviation hazards, one that pilots have been worried about ever since the dawn of the jet age (jet engines are particularly vulnerable to bird strikes). So I wondered why there was (apparently) a large flock of geese so close to La Guardia airport.

With just a bit of searching, I discovered that Senator Chuck Schumer used our tax dollars to help fund an organization called GeesePeace that advocates “non-lethal” methods for controlling Canadian geese populations and location. Reading through the news stories, press releases, and other materials, one can't help but ask this question: did we make a bad tradeoff between risk to aircraft and humane treatment of geese? I'd have to know a lot more to reach a conclusion, but I know enough right now to be suspicious. And it doesn't help me feel one bit better that Chuck “showboat” Schumer is involved...

Photo of the Day...

From the Botany Photo of the Day web site.

I want one!

Oh, My...

Said the parent of this young man:

I had one of those moments today that parents have children for. The kind of moment that makes you just so damned proud, you have to share the news on a world-wide-website or something.

Although I am proud, daily, of both of my kids, this time my son is the one earning the special kudos.

Oh, my...

This is so wrong, on so many levels...

At least it's not a tattoo. And a few swipes with a razor could turn that outline into something more likely to catch a young lady's attention – which would be just about anything other than a map of New Jersey!

And someone send this deluded parent a clue card, please...

Backlit Saturn...

Cassini – NASA's robotic explorer in orbit around Saturn – recently traveled into Saturn's shadow, where it took this spectacular photograph (click to enlarge). From Cassini's perspective, the sun is behind Saturn. This causes the bright ring around the edges of the planet, where the sunlight “leaks” through the thinnest parts of Saturn's atmosphere. The rings are all backlit by the hidden sun, providing the best view of them that I've ever seen.

Cassini was launched almost 12 years ago, and has been in orbit around Saturn for the past 4 and a half years. During that entire time, it has been steadily returning solid science results. Our understanding of Saturn and its moons has been vastly increased by Cassini's observations, at a cost of roughly 1/60th that of the International Space Station (best known for its malfunctioning toilets and utter lack of useful contributions to anything except NASA's budget).

Spelling. It’s Not as Hard as U Mite Theenk...

A wonderful, entertaining, and classic Rachel Lucas rant...

Rabbit of the Day...

Quite possibly “Rabbit of the Decade”...


If only some of our politicians had the huevos of this bunny...

Cartoon of the Day...

The End Is Near...

For hard disk drives, that is.

The original electronic computers of the late 1940s and early 1950s had hundreds and hundreds of moving parts. The systems I worked on while I was in the U.S. Navy had reduced this to dozens of moving parts – lots of mechanical switches, some relays, cooling blowers (powerful fans), and large hard disks (the size of washing machines) and tape drives (the size of refrigerators) each of which had dozens of motors, actuators, gears, dashpots, capstans, etc.

Once the electronics themselves moved from vacuum tubes to solid state (transistors and integrated circuits), by far the most likely thing to break in a computer was a moving part. In the 1970s, as a data systems tech in the Navy, I spent much of my life cleaning, repairing, lubricating, and adjusting things that moved. The only other common failure was high-voltage solid state electronics, which in those days was still in its infancy. Basically, the fewer moving parts something had, the more reliable it was.

These days, a modern PC generally only has two kinds of moving parts (not counting mouse and keyboard): fans and hard disk drives. Modern direct current fans are very reliable, but they do occasionally still break. Hard disk drives are notorious amongst IT professionals for being the most likely source of problems on a PC. But solid state disk drives have been (a) small, and (b) outrageously expensive.

That's changing, and very quickly. Toshiba is about to introduce a 512GB solid state disk drive – bigger than the hard disk installed on most PCs. It will be pricey – but not outrageously so, and (like all electronic devices) that price will come down rapidly as competitors come on line and production volumes ramp up.

The hard disk is about to become a museum display. I give it 5 years at most, and possibly as little as 2 years.

The only moving part left will be the fan – and as low power electronics get better and better (which they are), the need for these will taper off and eventually disappear altogether...

Security Theater...

Bruce Schneier coined this lovely term (“security theater”) for the actions taken in the name of making us safer, but which actually provide little or no additional safety. The primary value of such actions is political cover, not actual safety. To cite just one of many such examples, Bruce points out that limiting liquids to 4 oz. is completely useless in thwarting a hijacking attempt – any terrorist with an IQ above 50 or so will simply use some other weapon. He repeatedly points out the many ways in which our Department of Homeland Security engages in security theater, irritating a great many American citizens and foreign visitors while accomplishing little to actually make us safer.

Michael Yon, one of my favorite sources for information about the War on Terror, tells the story of a recent encounter with the DHS by one of his friends, a Thai woman named Aew. Here's his conclusion:

When I discovered that she had missed her flight, after about 24 hours of travel thus far, I called immigration at Minneapolis and asked to speak with Officer Knapp. Knapp got on the phone, but this time it was me questioning him. Knapp told me it was legal to read e-mails. I asked for his first name, but he was afraid to give his first name, which was rather strange for someone working within the confines of an airport where everyone has been searched for weapons. Where I work, in a war zone, soldiers give their first and last names and face Taliban and al Qaeda heads up, man to man. I write about al Qaeda, Taliban and other terrorist groups who kill thousands of people. My name is Michael Yon. My first name is Michael. Mr. Knapp hides behind a badge bullying a woman whose only activities are Yoga, reading, travel, and telling me what is healthy and unhealthy to eat. Knapp is a face of Homeland Security. How many other officers at Homeland Security bully 90-pound women, but are afraid to give their own names?

Knowing that Homeland Security officers are creating animosity and anxiety at our borders does not make me feel safer. How many truly bad guys slip by while U.S. officers stand in small rooms and pick on little women?

I have just returned from Afghanistan and Iraq on a trip with U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, and I can assure you that we can do better. We do not have to violate human rights and insult our closest allies to maintain our security.

Meanwhile, Aew had missed two flights; standby seats were full on the second flight, and I was considering flying from Florida to Minneapolis to get her myself. I did not want Aew to have to sleep in the airport overnight.

I had intended to show Aew a bit of my country. But it's taking a little while for her to get over her discomfort at being in America. She was treated better in China. So was I.

Ouch.

Security theater may be popular with the politicians, but it's not real popular with people on the ground. When a security hawk like Michael Yon starts decrying the uselessness and unfairness of a policy, you know there's something wrong with it...

500 Most Common Passwords...

In several different capacities over the years, I've been responsible for corporate IT security. One of the things I did was to test password security, by using the same tools that hackers use to break into password-secured accounts. Most of these tools do the same thing as the first step: they try a relatively short list (usually just a few hundred) of common passwords. I was shocked how often this simple first step worked – a great many people obviously chose the same password.

Now someone has published a list of the 500 most common passwords. My passwords are not on this list. Are yours? If so, you're easy prey for any hacker...