DOPE

Put down your drink before you read this, less you splatter slightly used beverage all over your monitor. This was written by John Stumpf, a former Chief Information Officer, now retired:

Preparatory Work

So it has happened: you have fired up your Dell PC, and - nothing. Or the dreaded “cannot find boot drive” or something like that. Now you are forced into the unenviable position of having to call Dell Off-shore Hardware Support. Look at it as a journey, one on which you will be tested, much like Job or Arthur Dent. You will descend into the ninth circle, but with the proper preparation, tools and attitude, you will return, a better person for it.

First, before you call, prepare. Raid your kids' library and find some simple reading primers along the lines of “See Spot Run.” This will help you speak in non-complex sentences and monosyllabic words.

Make an appointment for that root canal you have been putting off. After what you are about to experience, you will look forward to it.

Buy a speakerphone; it’s tough to stay rational when your neck is cramped.

When you are ready to MAKE THE CALL, go to the bathroom, take an aspirin, get a book or crossword, stock up on water and nibbles (preferably ones with high sugar content and no nutritional value; Twinkies are good). Shoo the kids out of your den; it’s possible that they will hear things that could cause serious psychological issues later.

Do your relaxation exercises; take a sip of water; remember Dan Rather’s closing, “Courage.” And MAKE THE CALL.

What Happens Next

The first thing that you will get is a recorded announcement saying that you can go to support.dell.com online to get help. This is your first test. Refrain from screaming that your PC is broken and you can’t GET to the Internet. This is where it is handy to have a towel to bite on, so your family doesn’t hear you screaming at a recording.

You may also be asked to enter your “Express Service Code.” (The discussion of why you have an “Express” Service Code when you are spending a long time on hold is best put off for another time.)

Eventually you will get to a person. You will tell him/her why you are calling, and most likely you will be told you have to call someone else. They will offer to transfer you, but before they do, GET THE EXENSION NUMBER. This is very important, especially when (not if) you get cut off. Note that it is a seven-digit extension number.

While waiting, pause and ponder the size and complexity of a company that needs an extension number the size of your phone number.

Now you are getting close. You will eventually get to someone who after getting your name, address, problem, and again, Express Service code, will say the magic words, “I can help you with that problem.” You have now contacted a Dell Offshore Personal Expert - a DOPE.

Some notes on this part of the process:

* The DOPE will probably call you by your first name, because he/she wants to be your new best friend.

* He/she will profusely thank you at every step of the way for the same reason.

* He/she will have a notable American name like Patrick, Matthew or even a Shaun. Do not react to this.

But congratulations; YOU HAVE REACHED SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HELP YOU! You reached the ninth circle, and all you have to do is return.

The Return

What happens now will vary depending on your problem. But here are some guidelines for dealing with the DOPES.

* Do not yell at them. Aside from the fact that it is rude, I think the phone system has a volume limiter that will cut you off. Bite the towel instead.

* Do not try sarcasm; DOPES don’t understand it. Again, bite the towel.

* Ditto humor.

* Do not use words like “escalate” or “supervisor.” In my case, they were greeted by a frosty silence. My guess is that they sound like obscenities in the local language.

* Do not ask if there is U.S.-based support. You will be told that there is “no U.S.-based Dell support."

* You may be told that the DOPE will take personal responsibility for your problem. Loosely translated, this means you will never hear from him/her again.

There is Hope

At some point in this process, you may reach a Newly Oriented Dell Off-shore Personal Expert - a NO-DOPE. This is a person that has recently joined Dell who hasn’t been fully trained and therefore will approach your problem in a friendly, knowledgeable and professional manner. He/she will solve your problem in less time than it took to write this.

The moral of the story is to keep trying; eventually you will reach a NO-DOPE.

You Have Done It

See, I told you that you could do it. Let the kids and pets back in, throw out the towel, and start using complex sentences and polysyllabic words again. And late that night, after everyone has gone to bed, break out the 12-year-old stuff, and toast yourself. Tomorrow you can reload all your programs and restore your data from your backup. You do have a backup, don’t you?

(All of the events related here are based on my experience with two incidents. The process was so frustrating that I probably will not buy another Dell. And of course apologies to Dante, Doug Adams, Greek mythology and those at Dell Off-shore Support who are great.)

I can definitely relate to this <smile>…

Kids

As I looked at these images (thanks, Jim — I think…), the thought that came first to mind is that these kids go home to momma and poppa, at least occasionally. I believe I can safely say that I don’t know any parents who would allow their child to do something like this to themselves.

But there must be parents who do. Who are they? Enquiring minds want to know…

These photos reminded me of a personal experience… I used to stay overnight frequently in Lake Forest, California, and in the mornings it was my habit to visit the Starbucks next door to my motel for my coffee. Morning coffee, for me, is a necessity, not a luxury. Many mornings the clerk was a young woman I named “Metal Woman” because she was festooned with metal parts. She was inordinately proud of her metallic accessories — dozens of them on her face and ears, about 10 in her tongue, and suspicious looking bumps nearly everywhere under her clothing. On one memorable visit, Metal Woman was chatting with a non-metallic friend, very casually and openly talking about her metalwork in — ahem — places that aren’t usually discussed in public. I heard quite a few details that I really wish I had never been educated about, such as the hygenic challenges raised by metal piercings frequently bathed in urine.

Somehow my coffee didn’t seem quite so tasty on that morning…

Puppy Pictures!

Is there anything cuter than a puppy? I think not…

These pictures (click for a larger view) are of each puppy in the litter, along with a group photo of Picaboo (the mama) and the whole crowd.

One of these will join our family, but we don’t know which one yet…

I want them all!

The Anti-Cartoon

One of my readers (thanks, Simon!) forwarded the cartoon at right (click for a larger view). It notes — as many writers have — that reaction in the Mulsim world to the now-famous Danish cartoons of Mohammed seems very much out of proportion, and especially so when compared to the utter lack of outrage from the Muslim world to the terrorist actions of the radical Muslims. Where was this outrage when, for example, terrorists bombed the trains in Madrid? While there were Muslim clerics who denounced this bombing (which I’m just picking on as an example), the general reaction of the common person “on the street” in the Islamic world seemed to be somewhere between indifference and delight that the “infidels” had been attacked. And now a cartoon has hundreds of thousands of people enraged to the point where they violently demonstrate?

As TigerHawk has pointed out, there is an asymmetry to this that is both offensive and chilling. It offends our Western sense of fairness, and it is chilling because it reveals the truth under all the posturing: at its core, the Islamic world is not tolerant of non-Muslims, and in fact would be happy if we all just died. I was reminded of this recently as I read that the Muslim youth in Paris who slit the throat of an innocent Jewish boy yelled in joy “I have killed my Jew — now I will go to heaven!” as he danced about on the stairs to his apartment, drenched in the blood of his victim.

His way of speaking truth to power, I suppose…

Old Harold

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?” He replied, “It was an ID ten T error.” I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that .. in case I need to fix it again?” Harold grinned.... “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?” “No,” I replied. “Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out."

So I wrote down … I D 1 0 T

I used to like Old Harold.

The Manifesto

And was said very well, indeed. And published in the same Danish paper (Jyllands-Posten) that published the cartoons:

MANIFESTO: Together facing the new totalitarianism

After having overcome fascism, Nazism, and Stalinism, the world now faces a new totalitarian global threat: Islamism.

We, writers, journalists, intellectuals, call for resistance to religious totalitarianism and for the promotion of freedom, equal opportunity and secular values for all.

The recent events, which occurred after the publication of drawings of Muhammed in European newspapers, have revealed the necessity of the struggle for these universal values. This struggle will not be won by arms, but in the ideological field. It is not a clash of civilisations nor an antagonism of West and East that we are witnessing, but a global struggle that confronts democrats and theocrats.

Like all totalitarianisms, Islamism is nurtured by fears and frustrations. The hate preachers bet on these feelings in order to form battalions destined to impose a liberticidal and unegalitarian world. But we clearly and firmly state: nothing, not even despair, justifies the choice of obscurantism, totalitarianism and hatred. Islamism is a reactionary ideology which kills equality, freedom and secularism wherever it is present. Its success can only lead to a world of domination: man’s domination of woman, the Islamists' domination of all the others. To counter this, we must assure universal rights to oppressed or discriminated people.

We reject cultural relativism, which consists in accepting that men and women of Muslim culture should be deprived of the right to equality, freedom and secular values in the name of respect for cultures and traditions. We refuse to renounce our critical spirit out of fear of being accused of “Islamophobia", an unfortunate concept which confuses criticism of Islam as a religion with stigmatisation of its believers.

We plead for the universality of freedom of expression, so that a critical spirit may be exercised on all continents, against all abuses and all dogmas.

We appeal to democrats and free spirits of all countries that our century should be one of Enlightenment, not of obscurantism.

12 signatures

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Chahla Chafiq

Caroline Fourest

Bernard-Henri Lévy

Irshad Manji

Mehdi Mozaffari

Maryam Namazie

Taslima Nasreen

Salman Rushdie

Antoine Sfeir

Philippe Val

Ibn Warraq

You can add my signature to this.

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin.

Abortion Position

A couple of weeks ago, one of my readers (thanks, Larry!) emailed me a link to a study on how abortion affects the crime rate. He started by saying “Not sure where you stand on abortion…” — and I could hardly believe that, because abortion is one of a few major social issues that ignited my interest in politics a few (ok, many) years ago…

So in this post, I’ll address the study first, and then discuss a bit of my stand on abortion. It’s still one of the most difficult issues for me to wrap my brain around.

The study (which you can download and read here) supports the idea that legalized abortion lowers the crime rate, and hints at that fact as justification for legalized abortion. The study starts with the interesting correllation between abortion becoming legal in the U.S., and the decline in the crime rate starting roughly 18 years later. It continues by examining possible mechanisms and testing them statistically. I can summarize the whole thing rather crudely this way: legalized abortion lowers crime by lowering the number of people in the age group most likely to commit crime, and even importantly, in the socio-economic categories most likely to commit crime. They cite the example that poor blacks commit a disproportionate share of crime; they also have a much higher rate of abortions.

I found the study fairly convincing as to the connection between legalized abortion and reduced crime. James Taranto has made a very similar case (though certainly not as robustly studied) for something he calls the “Roe effect” — the conjecture that legalized abortion leads to fewer liberals, as liberals are the group most likely to choose to abort a baby.

But I did not find the study convincing as justification for legalized abortion. A thought experiment will demonstrate why. Suppose we instituted a new policy: the first time a person was convicted of a crime, they are summarily executed, right there in the courtroom after the verdict is read. How horrible, you say! I’d wager that new policy would get almost no support. And yet, I’m certain that the new policy would result in a much-reduced rate of crime, as we know from decades of rigorous study that the vast majority of crime is committed by repeat offenders.

The fact that a policy results in reduced crime rates does not justify that policy, ipso facto. The policy in the thought experiment would be (hopefully) universally rejected because it is immoral — that the immoral policy has societal benefit is irrelevant to the debate.

I apply the same logic to the question of abortion and conclude that this study is irrelevant to the debate about the morality of abortion.

I can summarize my position on abortion very inexactly this way: I believe abortion is immoral in most circumstances. I have some very fuzzy edges on my thinking, however, which derive from what I’ll call the “timeline dilemma”. I’m certainly not the first to point out this problem. The sophisticated philosophical thinkers will think me provincial and simple as I articulate this, but that’s their problem <smile>. Here’s the timeline dilemma:

Starting at the early end of the timeline…if a couple decides to use contraception to prevent their sexual activity from conceiving a child, do I see any problem with that? No, I don’t. And if I did, I see a classic slippery-slope problem there — for if I thought (as the Catholic Church does) that contraception was immoral, does it not follow rather directly that any conscious avoidance of pregancy by a couple is also immoral? The Catholic Church says the “rhythm method” is ok, but from a moral perspective I see precious little difference between that and using a contraceptive.

Ok, let’s take it the other way, then. If I’m ok with contraceptives, then what about 1 second after conception? Do I see a moral problem with that? Well, truthfully, no — it seems pretty clear that at that point we don’t actually have child there, and aborting a pregancy at that point, from a moral perspective, doesn’t seem substantively different than contraception to me. Remember, I’m not religious, and I’m looking at this as a secular, but moral, person (even though Dr. Laura would say that’s not possible!).

So there’s one end of the timeline. Let’s go to the other end of it — when a child is born. Do I have a moral problem with killing a baby as it lies there screaming in its crib? Yes (despite my frequently saying — in jest, mind you — that I’m with W. C. Fields: I like my children roasted or boiled). Walk it back — do I have a problem killing a baby one second before birth. Well, yes; from that moral perspctive, I see no particular difference between killing the crying baby and killing the one that’s about to be born.

Two ends to the timeline, two different conclusion about the morality of abortion at those points. Now comes the hard part — what about the time in between those ends of the timeline? If I hold different views on the morality of abortion at each end of the timeline, then inescapably there must be a point in between the ends where my viewpoint flips — for this is a binary issue; abortion (at any given moment in time) surely is either immoral or moral; it can’t be “partly moral", for there is no such thing.

Sometimes (as pro-abortionists are wont to emphasize) there are factors that complicate the moral calculus. Suppose the child is the product of a rape? Suppose it is defective in some profound way that renders a useful human life impossible? And so on; there are many such factors that I’m perfectly willing to throw into the equation — and these, combined with the timeline, are what make this such a difficult issue for me.

There are also factors — sometimes allegedly moral factors — that I believe should not be part of the equation at all. I don’t believe that the mother’s economic situation or marriage status helps us reach a decision on the morality of abortion, on the same reasoning that leads me to conclude that a reduced crime rate offers no justification. And while the pregnancy may simply be unwanted by the mother, I see that as a very unfortunate circumstance that doesn’t speak to the morality of abortion at all. Feminists argue — really, they hold it as an article of faith — that women have the moral right to make any choice they want about their own body, and that prior to birth, a baby is just another part of their own body. By that same reasoning, it would be moral for me to decide not to help a dying person I happen upon, if it inconvenienced me. I don’t buy that line of moral reasoning.

So where on the timeline does my moral stance on abortion flip? The uncomfortable truth is that I have no idea how to determine that point. The only certainty I have is that the further along the timeline a preganancy goes, the more (and more) uncomfortable I get with the morality of an abortion.

In the end, I retreat to safety. “Abortion", in this context, is just another word for legalized killing. The only other form of killing widely (but not universally) recognized as both legal and moral is the execution of criminals. There, to assure the morality of our actions and to assuage our consciences, we go to extremes to make certain we make no mistakes. I see no moral alternative to those extremes for so long as the death penalty is legal. And I believe that’s the safe course with abortion as well; hence my position that abortion is “immoral in most circumstances” (and therefore should be outlawed).

By “in most circumstances", I’m most definitely weasling out a bit. For example, in those (fortunately quite rare) cases where a pregnancy would certainly kill the mother, my own moral calculus is that the mother’s right to live trumps the baby’s right to obtain independent life. Clearly someone might reasonably disagree with that; its a moral judgment, not an absolute. It gets fuzzier if the mother is put at risk by the continued pregnancy; now the moral calculus for me is considerably more complex, and I’d want to understand the probabilities before rendering a moral judgment. There are any number of other circumstances that I can imagine as well. For example, imagine a woman was raped, became pregnant, and then was held prisoner for four months before she escaped. I can think of many circumstances (all uncommon) that make it impossible for me to support a flat-out, no-exceptions ban on abortion. But I can think of no circumstances that allow me to think of abortion as a moral choice that women should be able to make independently.

The legal environment I’d like to see would be one in which abortions more than some very short time (say 30 days) after conception were illegal, but in which a process existed for exceptions to be granted. In this hypothetical environment, requests for abortions would be expeditiously heard (for time is very much of the essence in these cases) by a technically qualified judge (or panel, better yet) who explicitly weighed the moral issues of each such case, weighing the rights of the baby and the rights of the mother where they were in conflict. I further believe that the bar for filing for such an exception should be quite high; that evidence of a moral conflict should be part of the requirement.

Watching the political polarization on the abortion issue, I suspect there are only two likely outcomes, even in the long run: either complete laissez faire, as today, or completely outlawing it. I don’t see much chance of the polar extremes working with each other for any sort of a compromise, middle-road approach to the question. Not that my suggestion would be considered a “compromise” by the “pro-choice” crowd…

Rules for Life

Rules for Life:

1. You really need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape.

2. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

3. And finally, be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan!!!

— —

Tom’s addition for software engineers:

1. You really only need two tools: the delete key and red wine. If your program does something it shouldn’t do, use the delete key. If your program doesn’t do something that it should, drink red wine while coding until the program behaves as it should (or you don’t care).

Artist Soldier

Michael Fay is a Marine soldier, an officer, an accomplished artist, and a blogger. Quite the unusual combination!

At right are five examples of Michael’s work in Iraq (from where he has just returned), published in today’s Wall Street Journal. As Michael says on his blog, this is his 15 minutes of fame, and he seems to be relishing it. Who wouldn’t <smile>?

As usual, click on the small images for a larger view…

Puppy Journal

The puppies are 2-weeks old as of Sunday and have been put into rick rack.

1st born black male = white boy (2 1/2 pounds)

2nd born black male = yellow boy (2 1/4 pounds)

3rd born liver male = green boy (2 lbs, 10 ounces)

4th born liver male = blue boy (2 lbs, 10 ounces)

5th born black female = pink girl (2 3/4 pounds)

6th born liver female = purple girl (2 1/2 pounds)

Whether CBR or FS, every “pink girl” in every litter of mine has grown up and accomplished things in show or performance rings. All those girls were brown. This time around I put the pink rick rack on the black bitch. Not because I am picking her to be the “one” but because she needs the extra luck that goes with pink. She is the only puppy in the litter with clear white. Everyone else has black or liver ticking filling in their muzzles and/or toes. The white comes from both Cosmo and Picabo but the absence of ticking come from Cosmo. :-( I know it is way too early to worry about their color (it can take up to six months for facial white to fill in) but I can’t help but notice how “clean” she is compared to how “dirty” the rest are. Yellow boy, Blue boy, and Purple girl are going to basically be solid-colored dogs with a little white on their throats and chests. White boy might end up with a slight look of gray around his nose (like Picabo - you have to look for it). Green boy and Pink girl are wait and sees.

A lot has happened in the last week. They are up on their feet and wobbling a few steps forward and backward. Their eyes are open and at the very least, pink girl has shown signs of useful vision. I held her today by the window and she turned toward it, then she turned toward me. When Picabo was outside the Dura-Whelp’s gate, she wobbled toward the gate and made the first attempt at climbing over it (a pretty feeble attempt but she stood on three legs and put her other paw on the barrier). They are also very vocal the few seconds they are awake. They don’t cry but they make a baby barking sound.

Sunday was a big day. I took out the pig rails because they were threatening to become lethal. The puppies are now just big enough and mobile enough that they could get their necks caught between the rail and Picabo. I know because I had to rescue a couple of them Saturday night. I made yet another modification to the Dura-Whelp. I bought a piece of white marker board, used the whelping box’s removable door as a pattern, and cut two new door sizes. The doors slide into grooves and close off the opening. There is no inbetween. The gate is open or it is closed. I want the puppies in but I want Picabo to come and go as she pleases. The opening to the door is 7 inches high. I cut a door that now makes the opening 9 inches high. It is still easy for Picabo to step over but I won’t have to worry about escaping puppies this week. Next week will be another story. I made a second door that is 12 inches high. That one will only go in when I notice the puppies trying to get out. Picabo can hop over it but I don’t want her landing on a puppy. My hope is to keep them contained until they are four-weeks old and then move them into the x-pen. I’m not hopeful that they will last that long in the Dura-Whelp. The other big thing that happened on Sunday was that I moved back into my own room. Ahh, to sleep for six uninteruppted hours… The puppies don’t need me and Picabo wanted the bed in that room anyway. :-)

My oh my but I have had to invest a lot of time in that plastic box. I have it sitting on 1 1/2 inches of styrofoam for additional insulation (that will come out when the 12” door goes in), I have added additional Velcro to both the floor and the two pads I purchased. I made two more pads and I have made two replacement doors. I coded the pig rails with a Sharpie so when I use it again, I can line everything up the way I had it this time. The box is guaranteed for three years. That’s funny because it will be at least three years, maybe four before I use it again. :-)

Not much else has happened. Picabo has rejoined the family on our daily walks. I don’t have to supervise her toilet duties anymore. To say she is blowing her coat is an understatement. She scratches herself and oops, she is bald there. It will all grow back nice and black and shiny. I do have the pictures back from last week and I will make an album to put up in the list’s photo file.

Sheila Miller

Wolftree Acres

Nevada, USA

sdmiller@the-onramp.net

http://www.wolftreeacres.homestead.com

Basic Instincts

Chester Finn and Diane Ravitch are senior fellows at Stanford’s Hoover Institution, and former members of the National Assessment Governing Board (NAGB). They are eminently qualified to comment on how we assess our nation’s educational system. In today’s Wall Street Journal ($) they have a grim report:

U.S. students lag behind their peers in other modern nations — and the gap widens dramatically as their grade levels rise. Our high school pupils (and graduates) are miles from where they need to be to assure them and our country a secure future in the highly competitive global economy. Hence, any serious effort at education reform hinges on our setting world-class standards, then candidly tracking performance in relation to those standards. Even when gains are slender and results disappointing, we need the plain truth. Which is why recent attempts by federal and state governments to sugarcoat the performance of students is so alarming.

They go on to document how state education officials — usually acting as politicians, whatever their credentials — have systematically created state criteria set low enough to produce acceptable outcomes (see their chart, reproduced at right). In other words, if the test scores make the kids look uneducated, change the test until you get the results you want! Never mind how poorly the kids are prepared; do the liberal thing and make everybody feel good about it. What a crock!

They further document how this same crowd is attempting to change the focus from how well (or not) our kids are doing compared with those from other countries, to the much different focus of whether the trends are positive are negative. And of course, if you combine test-diddling with trend analysis, you can make anything look good. Again, never mind whether our kids are being educated — instead, let’s just bury all the evidence of the failure of our politicians to deliver the educational goods. Sort of like what the cats do in the litter box after they do their business. Hmmm, interesting visual analogy, that…

Finn and Ravitch catch our education 'leaders' in another piece of self-serving sleight of hand as well: a consistent presentation of “basic” level skills as though they were the goal for our kids, instead of the “proficient” level that was intended. As if setting expectations lower was actually a solution!

They conclude:

Just how demanding is “proficient” anyway? Here’s how NAGB defined it for fourth grade math: “Fourth graders performing at the proficient level should be able to use whole numbers to estimate, compute, and determine whether results are reasonable. They should have a conceptual understanding of fractions and decimals; be able to solve real-world problems in all NAEP content areas; and use four-function calculators, rulers and geometric shapes appropriately.” Is this too much to expect? Hardly. America’s great education problem is that for years we settled for “basic skills” rather than true proficiency. The Bush administration does a disservice to the nation if it tells educators and state officials that “basic” is acceptable. You can be sure that our competitors aren’t doing any such thing.

Recently I read an article (and didn’t save a link, darn it!) that talked about the results of giving a quiz from the San Diego public schools of the early 1900s to modern day students. Just reading the test questions was a real eye-opener — they were genuinely challenging and difficult, and they covered a very broad range of subjects. Students in those days had to pass this test with 80% or better correct in order to graduate (I believe it was a fourth grade test). Fail, and you took fourth grade over again. If my memory is correct, something like 70% of the students passed those tests. Not one of the over 100 modern fourth-grade students given this test achieved even 50% — much less a passing grade. Of course such an isolated example is fraught with problems, but … when it jibes with observation and experience, we can give it some wieght. As in with my experience a few years ago of meeting someone who had graduated from college, and yet had never even heard of Josef Stalin, much less had any understanding of that evil monster.

The Wall Street Journal is the most consistent source of high quality commentary that I know of. Even ignoring the (very high) news value of the WSJ, it’s worth the annual subscription price just for the commentary. Online is cheaper, too. If you’re not a subscriber, you should consider it…

Eagle, Resplendent

From APOD, an image that is extraordinarily beautiful even by their high standards:

Explanation: From afar, the whole thing looks like an Eagle. A closer look at the Eagle Nebula, however, shows the bright region is actually a window into the center of a larger dark shell of dust. Through this window, a brightly-lit workshop appears where a whole open cluster of stars is being formed. In this cavity tall pillars and round globules of dark dust and cold molecular gas remain where stars are still forming. Already visible are several young bright blue stars whose light and winds are burning away and pushing back the remaining filaments and walls of gas and dust. The Eagle emission nebula, tagged M16, lies about 6500 light years away, spans about 20 light-years, and is visible with binoculars toward the constellation of Serpens. The above picture combines three specific emitted colors and was taken with the 0.9-meter telescope on Kitt Peak, Arizona, USA.

As usual, click on the small image for a larger view…

In My Class

Have you been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?"

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face 'was way too old to have been my classmate.

After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Lawton Senior High school. “Yes. Yes, I did. I’m a Wolverine.” he gleamed with pride.

"When did you graduate?” I asked. He answered, “In 1961. Why do you ask?"

"You were in my class!” I exclaimed.

He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, wrinkled son-of-a-bitch asked, “What did you teach?"

Mercury MESSENGER

It’s been almost a year since I last posted about the MESSENGER mission to the planet Mercury. The long interlude isn’t from lack of interest — there just hasn’t been much happening. That’s because MESSENGER is one of the now-common missions that uses gravitational assists from planets to greatly lower the fuel requirements. In MESSENGER’s case, it will be getting a total of six such gravity assists from planetary flybys: one from Earth (last August), two from Venus (the first one on October 24, 2006), and three from Mercury. Not until 2011 will MESSENGER finally make its orbital insertion burn. Between now and then there’s not much happening, except for those planetary flybys, each of which is planned to generate much good science.

The picture at right was taking on the Earth flyby (click for a larger view).

The planned orbit around Mercury is interesting. From the MESSENGER official web site:

MESSENGER’s orbit about Mercury is highly elliptical (egg-shaped), 200 kilometers (124 miles) above the surface at the lowest point and more than 15,193 kilometers (9,420 miles) at the highest. The plane of the orbit is inclined 80° to Mercury’s equator, and the low point in the orbit is reached at a latitude of 60° north. The low-altitude orbit over the northern hemisphere allows MESSENGER to conduct a detailed investigation of the geology and composition of Mercury’s giant Caloris impact basin - the planet’s largest known surface feature.

About 33% of the spacecraft’s propellant is required for Mercury orbit insertion – the process of placing the spacecraft into its primary science orbit around Mercury. MESSENGER’s thrusters must slow the spacecraft by just over 0.83 kilometers (0.52 miles) per second. As the spacecraft approaches Mercury, the largest thruster must be pointed close to the forward velocity direction of the spacecraft. The first maneuver (lasting about 15 minutes) places the spacecraft into a stable orbit; it also sets up a much shorter cleanup maneuver two to three days later near the orbit’s lowest point.

We’ll be keeping an eye on this mission. In the meanwhile, visit the MESSENGER site for more information.

Cartoonists' Revenge

The ongoing kerfuffle over the notorious Danish cartoons continues. The deliberately provoked violent protests haven’t stopped yet, and I’m not even certain that they’ve slowed down.

There are times that make one wonder about what evil the future might hold…

Meanwhile, some cartoonists are fighting back. They are fighting for their freedom of speech, in their own way: with cartoons, mocking and satirical. Follow the link below to see all twelve of them.

Tip of the hat to Simon M., a reader who forwarded these to me.

How To

From the “Complete Jamulian’s Guide To Happiness":

Men — to keep your woman happy, you just need to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

44. compassionate

Without forgetting to:

45. give her compliments regularly

46. love shopping

47. be honest

48. be very rich

49. not stress her out

50. not look at other girls

While also:

51. giving her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. giving her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. giving her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

And most of all, it is very important:

54. Never to forget: birthdays, anniversaries, and any arrangements she makes

Women: to keep your man happy, you need to:

1. Show up naked

2. Bring food

A Thing of Beauty

For quite a while now, I’ve looked forward to a periodic (automatic) email I receive from Ron Baalke at the Mars Exploration Program. It’s a simple email — just a list of links to particularly interesting new photos from the Mars Global Surveyor. The images here (click for a larger view) are from the latest of those emails.

Like many of our robotic (unmanned) space missions, this one has gathered little public attention (though the scientific community is pretty excited about it!). It just keeps plugging along, delivering remarkable science results month after month. To me these technological marvels rank amongst the most significant accomplishments of mankind, but clearly I’m one of the few who think so <smile>.

The Mars Global Surveyor images have another attribute that sets them apart from the products of many other missions: many of them are quite beautiful, wholly apart from their science value. Click on the thumbnails and see for yourself!

From Malin Space Sciences' Mars Global Surveyor site:

The Mars Global Surveyor (MGS) Mars Orbiter Camera (MOC) first acquired images of Mars during its approach to the red planet in mid-1997. The spacecraft began orbiting Mars in September 1997. Following a period of aerobraking to achieve a nearly-circular, nearly-polar orbit, MGS began systematic mapping operations in March 1999. The primary mission was conducted for one Mars year, through January 2001. An extended mission phase followed. MGS and MOC are currently expected to operate through at least December 2006.

Hundreds of MOC images with captions describing their contents have been compiled and released by the MOC team at Malin Space Science Systems since 1997. The links below provide access to these captioned releases.

The link above takes you to the home page for the entire archive of MGS/MOC images made publicly available. It’s quite overwhelming; one could spend hours and hours up there…

Danger!

You’re probably thinking that it’s faceless hackers, Muslim extremists, Karl Rove, or James Carville. Nope — statistically those people are very unlikely to be the source of anything that hurts your computers. Well, then who is the most likely?

Your friends.

That’s right, your friends — the ones who email you those funny video clips, or the tear-jerker animal presentations. They are helping the real bad guys (who need red-hot pokers in their rectums) spread their evil. Of course your friends don’t know they’re helping the bad guys, but they are.

And so, most likely, are you. Because, like the vast majority of innocent email users, you (like me) forward those cute movies, those funny foreign advertisements, etc. to your friends.

And some of those attachments are bad.

How can you tell? Don’t anti-virus programs catch all those things?

No, they don’t. They catch some, to be sure. I use anti-virus software on my system, because I know it will catch a lot of the bad stuff. But I also know that it misses things — it misses the newest variations of viri, worms, and spyware. It will also miss the more sophisicated variations, especially the “polymorphic” ones that change constantly, specifically to evade anti-virus software.

But, you say “I would never forward an attachment to someone after it infected my system!” Well, I would hope not. But here’s the rub: you won’t know your system is infected! You see, the evil hackers (may they be plagued by incurable whole-body acne) who write these things understand quite a bit about human behavior.

There are many ways for them to fool you. One of the most common is the “time bomb": they tell their evil software not to do anything bad until some specific date, or until after it’s been installed on your system for some time — plenty of time for you to have forwarded it to all your friends. Another category of evil software simply hides itself, trying hard to never do anything that would bring itself to your attention. That’s because it’s quietly watching all your keystrokes — including when you enter your credit card number for online shopping, or your username and password to your bank account. Then it sends the interesting stuff back home to the scum who wrote the software.

How can you protect yourself against this? Especially if you’re not technically saavy?

The truth is there’s not much you can do. Even being technically saavy isn’t enough — to detect the best of the evil software (fortunately this is the small minority of it), you need to be a specialist with the right knowledge and tools. And you’d have to spend a lot of time, constantly, checking and rechecking your system. It’s a little bit like taking a walk. Someone evil could be lurking behind almost anything. You can improve your chances by being careful where you walk (a walk in San Diego’s Balboa Park is very safe when compared with a walk in San Francisco’s notorious “Tenderloin” district). Likewise, you can try to be careful with the attachments you open. Some of them (for instance, any that end with .EXE, .COM, or any of a few dozen other “extensions") are inherently dangerous, and should be avoided unless you know absolutely for sure that they are safe.

But with such advice, we’re already assuming some degree of tech saavy. Most non-technical people I know have already just given up on this — they either never open email attachments, or they always open them. In the latter case, they’re just hoping that nothing evil comes their way. And aside from running anti-virus software, and keeping it up to date, there’s little I can do to help them out. Chances are that one of these days they’re going to discover that some pimply ex-Soviet bloc teenager has their credit card number, or a Mulim fanatic in Iran has their street address and phone number, or … substitute your own nightmare.

The reality is this: if we want to enjoy the use of this modern technical marvel (the personal computer), we have to accept some level of risk — much as we accept the risk of an accident as the price we pay for enjoying the use of our car. There are things we can do to help mitigate the risk — we can spend money on anti-virus software, firewalls, etc., and we can educate ourselves. This is much like having seat belts and airbags in our cars, and learning defensive driving skills. And we can even try to “drive” our personal computers in better neighborhoods (e.g., be a little selective about exactly what email attachments you open). But we can’t make it completely safe to use a PC…

Puppy Journal

This is the latest installment of Sheila Miller’s “Puppy Journal", covering the progress of a new litter of field spaniels — one of which will be ours, and the next agility champion! You can read the previous installments here and here. We’ve named our new puppy: Miki (pronounced MEE-kee) — Hawai’ian for fast, agile, and alert. Pretty good for an agility champion, eh?

And now without further delay — the puppy journal:

My how time flies. Has it been 10 days now? Everyone is doing well. The puppies have more than doubled their weight. They weigh between 1 pound, 10 ounces (the two black males) and 2 pounds (the two girls). The other two boys fall in between but are closer to the girls' weight. Picabo is also doing well and is keeping her weight and attitude up.

10 years ago when I first started breeding dogs, a CBR friend of mine told me, “The first three weeks are easy. The dam does all of the work. Just keep her clean and fed.” True, the work right now isn’t physical but it is stressful. There is that little worry always in the back of your head about puppies not gaining weight, getting cold or squished and not getting handled enough. They receive mild stress every day in the form of a series of 5, 5-second exercises. The pads of each foot are tickled with a cosmetic brush. They are held vertically (and I look at their sealed eyes), on their back in my hands (and I look at their umbilicus and the pads of their feet), held head down and finally placed on a cool surface. The mild stress boosts their developing immune system, oxygenates their tissues, and helps their neurons make connections as they attempt to right themselves. The things I look for are the first signs of an eye infection, umbilical hernia, and pigment to cover those white toes! The pigment is there!! :-) I am also looking for Cosmo’s perfect feet. His first puppies with Picabo have nice feet but they aren’t his (and he got his from his daddy Spicer and I think he got his from his daddy Roger). Right now it looks like one of the black boys might have the “squishy” pads I’m looking for. On my “to do” list with the puppies is to put them in rick rack. Because of the gender and color split I have, it is very easy to tell the puppies apart. Well, if you pick them up. I need to color code them so I can ID them from a distance. That comes in handy when they become more interactive and I keep track of what they do. They can do a lot right now. They can root, they can crawl, they can snuffle your ears and sleep their twitchy sleep in the crook of your arm. They have a wide range of vocalizations. They “purr", cry on occasion and even bark (though they don’t open their mouths so it is muffled and very endearing). I love these puppies. :-)

As for Picabo, she is much like a puppy herself. I take her outside, not just put outside, to relieve herself. I swear I have a permanent poop bag on my right hand. As long as I am outside (in my pj’s, parka, and flashlight) walking her up and down the yard, I might as well pick up whatever poop is out there. The longer I am outside, the longer she is out getting some exercise and fresh air. I pick up her poop for two reasons: two of my dogs have developed a “taste” for hers and for quality control. I have become quite an expert on her poop as each bowel movement determines her next meal. Her base food is Iams Puppy with either meat, eggs, cheese, yogurt, bran, or whole wheat bread added to it. Two of her meals are soaked in one half cup of Goat’s Milk Esbilac. The result so far is a bitch who is keeping up her weight and pooping well (I can pick it up). After every trip outside, she gets (in this order) her face washed, boobs washed, discharges wiped away and butt wiped. Once a day I comb her out. She is getting kind of itchy (she is starting to shed) so tomorrow night I am going to give her a bath with oatmeal shampoo.

I have to tell you about Monday (President’s Day) and the ongoing saga of my Dura-Whelp. I went to Winnemucca for my weekly shopping. I couldn’t get my film developed because one place had their machine torn down for maintenance and the other place was closed because of the holiday (but I was able to get the van’s tires rotated!). I went to Wal-Mart and was irritated that part of the parking was fenced off and torn out (Super Wal-Mart is coming). I pulled my van up to the newly set up outside garden area and there they were with a little new snow drifted around them - plastic wading pools! My puppies were born one week too late. Oh well, I went inside for paper and plastic products, dog food, and Velcro. They had 3” wide industrial strength Velcro in your choice of adhesive or nonadhesive. I grabbed the adhesive because I needed the one side to stick to the Dura-Whelp. I also bought 2 1/2 yards of fleece so I could make two extra beds for the Dura-Whelp. I thought I was so smart. I would cut the Velcro in squares, stick the loop end to the Dura-Whelp and sew the fuzzy end to the fleece. Oh, the adhesive! The adhesive! It gummed up my sewing machine needle. I had to keep wiping the goo off the needle with rubbing alcohol. My poor Pfaff. It was never meant for crafts. :-( I finished the job and put a note inside my machine that said, “Gummed up”. I will deal with it the next time I use the machine. The sad part is that I already resolved the shifting bedding problem I had with the command, “Don’t dig”. When Picabo has the urge to dig, she leaves the box and scratches up a blanket I left on the floor. Oh that hindsight! I should have bought one package of adhesive Velcro for the box and one package of nonadhesive Velcro for the fleece. And forget “industrial strength”. It is so hard to peel off that the fleece will tear long before these puppies are weaned. LOL

I promise I am trying to get pictures! :-)

Sheila Miller

Wolftree Acres

Nevada, USA

Security Hole

Update: Welcome, visitors from Pajamas Media! The number of people visiting my corner of cyberspace jumped this afternoon because of a link those nice folks posted this afternoon. I hope that while you’re here, you’ll look around a little. There are lots of things to explore here, from political scribblings, science and technology thoughts, to photos of our travels and our collection of animals. And much more!

Update II: Will wonders never cease? Now there’s a link (broken at the moment <sob>) to this post from Instapundit! Assuming Glenn fixes that link, I suspect I’ll have even more visitors. Welcome, one and all — please take a look around while you’re here!

Bruce Schneier has a wonderful little story on his blog (original article here) about a test of an attack method that combines technical means and a little social engineering. It’s a clever exploit that (unfortunately) is just one example of bazillions of possible clever exploits. In this one, the testers went onto the streets of London and handed out CDs that supposedly contained a Valentine’s Day promotional. Many of the people who were given the CDs carried them straight into their (allegedly “secure") offices and ran the programs right of the CD. Any IT guy could tell you that by doing so, they bypassed nearly all of the security measures the companies had in place; had the software been hostile, it could have done a lot of damage — either by stealing confidential information, modifying critical information, or even by taking down internal systems.

Not good. And oops.

The original article basically blames the employees' bad security attitude, or lack of security education. Bruce draws a better lesson: that the real problem is insecure infrastructure. While I agree with every one of Bruce’s points, in a practical sense it doesn’t seem likely that they’re going to be addressed anytime soon. To use Bruce’s example, this particular attack could have been prevented by not giving every employee a worksation or laptop that could just run any old software from a CD. True enough. But … I don’t know any company that is actually going to run out and put that restriction in place…

I’ll draw another (fairly obvious) lesson from this story: that many IT organizations are throwing their security money at the wrong problems. In particular, except in the most sophisticated IT security environments, the emphasis is almost 100% on “border security": firewalls, multi-element identification, etc. And almost nothing is done about security inside the firewall — even though it’s demonstrable that the biggest threats for most companies are of internal origin. The CD attack is a great example, though theoretical. Already happening are worm and virus attacks — and many (I suspect most) companies are woefully unprepared for these. I’ve worked at two companies — and I know of many more — where all the company’s servers are fully exposed to the LANs that host the company’s workstations. That means that any worm or virus that infected a workstation has free access to those servers — and in these days of laptops and employees VPNing in from home, if you’ve got more than about three employees, the chances are pretty good that some of them are infected. The fact that more damage isn’t done this way is testament to the bad design of worms and viri, not that the risk doesn’t exist.

Yet changing the way company’s secure their IT infrastructure isn’t easy, as my personal experience attests. I’ve had one boss (the CEO) who, after my presentation of things we needed to do to secure ourselves internally, said “Let’s just get SecureID!”. When I told him that would be like putting a padlock on a wet paper bag, he countered with “I don’t care if it really does anything — what I care about is how secure we’ll appear to our customers.” Customers who are, more than likely, equally uninformed about security. This company ended up doing precisely nothing about internal security, despite my tiresome railing on the subject. And to this day they have not been hit with any big problems, which reinforces that illogical behavior. Sometimes I’ve thought that a small “demonstration” was in order, just for the educational value…

I don’t have any good answers for this challenge. My suspicion is that it’s similar to corporate behavior with respect to backups: the issue will be ignored until the company gets burned, then it will be addressed. Companies sometimes seem to be incapable of learning from the pain of others…