Politically Correct...

Via my mom:

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as'HILLBILLIES.' You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

And furthermore, in order to be politically correct regarding women:

1. She is not a 'BABE' or a 'CHICK' - She is a 'BREASTED-AMERICAN. '
2. She is not 'EASY' - She is 'HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.'
3. She is not a 'DUMB BLONDE' - She is a 'LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.'
4. She has not 'BEEN AROUND' - She is a 'PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.'
5. She does not 'NAG' you - She becomes 'VERBALLY REPETITIVE.'
6. She is not a 'TWO-BIT HOOKER' - She is a 'LOW COST PROVIDER.'

And to be politically correct regarding men:

1. He does not have a 'BEER GUT' - He has developed a 'LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.'
2. He is not a 'BAD DANCER' - He is 'OVERLY CAUCASIAN.'
3. He does not 'GET LOST ALL THE TIME' - He 'INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.'
4. He is not 'BALDING' - He is in 'FOLLICLE REGRESSION.'
5. He does not act like a 'TOTAL A*S' - He develops a case of 'RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION’
6. It's not his 'CRACK' you see hanging out of his pants – it's 'TROUSER CLEAVAGE.'

Remember Me...

I posted this a few years ago, but reader Simi L. emailed it to me and I watched it again for the first time in a couple years.  Lizzie Palmer, 15 years old at the time, put it together.  It's worth viewing again:

Reckless...

Via my lovely bride:




More information here, here, and here...

Leontochir ovallei...

From Chile, this flower is also known as Garra de león, or “lion's claw”.  I'll call it gorgeous.  From BPoD, of course...

What's So Special About 1 / 998001?

Geek/Math warning.  Now that's pretty cool!

Sixteen Scientists...

Sixteen prominent scientists have signed a letter made public yesterday.  First paragraph:

A candidate for public office in any contemporary democracy may have to consider what, if anything, to do about "global warming." Candidates should understand that the oft-repeated claim that nearly all scientists demand that something dramatic be done to stop global warming is not true. In fact, a large and growing number of distinguished scientists and engineers do not agree that drastic actions on global warming are needed.

Among the sixteen signers are several people widely known even outside the scientific community, such as Burt Rutan and Harrison Schmidt. 

Read the whole thing...

Cats...

Reader Simon M. is on a roll – excellent!

Federal Budget Made Simple...

Via reader Simon M (click to enlarge):

Nice!

Dog Demonstrates Advanced Mathematics Skills...

In topology, to be precise.  Via my mom:

Larry the Cable Guy...

... on Cajuns (that's people from Louisiana):

Even after the Super Bowl victory of the New Orleans Saints, I have noticed a large number of people implying, with bad jokes, that Cajuns aren't smart. I would like to state for the record that I disagree with that assessment. Anybody that would build a city 5 feet below sea level in a hurricane zone and fill it with Democrats who can't swim is a genius.

Internet Follies...

Reader Simon M. sent me a collection of photos featuring a three-carrier task group and some photos of the F/A-37 Talon (one of them at right).  The description waxed poetic about this plane's capabilities, and the photographs show an exotic and downright predatory looking aircraft.  This is an area I'm interested in (aviation in general, and military aviation in particular), so I was surprised that I'd never heard of this plane before.

Turns out that's because the plane is fictional – from Hollywood (the 2005 movie Stealth). 

The way the Internet allows anyone to stand up and talk to the world is wonderful.  But it has its downsides...including the amazing number of people who seem to spend their days carefully crafting websites and documents to say things that just aren't true.  Sometimes what they're saying is pushing some sort of agenda, so at least one can understand their motivation while deploring their actions.  But this sort of fakery?  What on earth motivates someone to spend time doing this, I wonder?  

My Team...

We had a team lunch yesterday, at the local Red Robin on Del Mar Heights Road.  Behold the ServiceNow Automation development team (missing a couple members)!

There's quite a wide range of ages, personalities, time-at-the-company, and experiences represented here – one of the most interesting things (for me, at least!) about working with this great group of engineers...

Stupid Float Tricks...

Don't click here unless you have a geekly interest in IEEE float internals...

Dogs...

Via my mom:

She actually sent me a whole collection of famous dog-related quotes overlayed on cute dog photos.  I'll post a few more of them over the next few days...

Dilbert Voices the Secret Thoughts of the Geek...

For any geek working in a company run by non-geeks (decidedly not the case at my employer, ServiceNow – but true of some of my former employers), it's a common occurrence to have some suit ask or tell you to do something utterly stupid – and obvious to any other geek.  If you're interested in keeping your job, you swallow, count to 10, and try to come up with some civil response.  But what you really want to do is this:

Scott Adams (the genius creator of Dilbert) somehow manages to keep nailing the current geek, despite not having worked in industry for decades...

The Cowboy Way...

My lovely bride passed along this little pearl of Cowboy Wisdom&tm;:

The guys were all at a deer camp.  No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly.  They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.  They said, "Man, what happened to you?"  He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."

The next night it was a different guy's turn.  In the morning, same thing – hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.  They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!" He said, "Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Fred's turn.  Fred was a tanned, older cowboy; a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.  "Good morning!" he said.  They couldn't believe it.  They said, "Man, what happened?" He said, "Well, we got ready for bed.  I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night...

Bob sat up and watched me all night.

I'll bet he did!

Best Response Evah!

Suppose you're a violinist.  You're playing at a somber, serious classical music concert.  Suddenly someone's Nokia (recognizable from the ringtone) phone starts ringing.  What do you do?  Here's what one fellow did:

Clipboard in the Cloud...

Here's an interesting idea – shareable clipboard-like functionality hosted in the cloud.  It's basically a fast way to share (live) relatively small amounts of text...

JavaScript Best Practices...

A nice little compilation and discussion of mostly common-sense practices – but if you're new to JavaScript, this is quite handy!

Well, That Worked!

Doug S. passes along this amateur video clip of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  The guard is not happy with the laughter and levity of the crowd:




I didn't hear a peep after that!

I wonder if that was ad hoc, or if the guards are trained to maintain decorum?  And what do you suppose would happen if that warning hadn't worked?