Why Parents Drink...

Via my mom.  And no, this isn't her story about me:

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Dad."

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better.

She deserves it.

Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John, P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it's safe to come home.

Kids Say the Darndest Things, Part 6,823...

Via my mom:

A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the first part of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

Proverb...	Kid's Ending
Don't change horses...	until they stop running.
Strike while the...	the bug is close.
It's always darkest before...	Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of...	termites.
You can lead a horse to water, but...	how?
Don't bite the hand...	looks dirty.
A miss is as good as a...	Mr.
No news is...	impossible.
You can't teach an old dog new...	math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll...	stink in the morning.
Love all, trust...	me.
The pen is mightier than the...	pigs.
An idle mind is...	the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke, there's...	pollution.

Excellent!

Adele Vasquez and Her Band of Siblings...

I'd say these kids have a future in music.  Even if this song isn't your cup of tea, listen to this 10 year old belt out the refrain.  Awesome!

Mimicking Nature Win!

A 13 year old kid discovered something interesting about solar cells, by observing trees.  Both are ways to collect the sun's power.  He observed that the collectors on trees (the leaves) are distributed in many small pieces, and not all are pointed the same way.  Solar cell arrays, generally speaking, are single rectangular arrays pointed in one direction.  By splitting up the solar cells and aiming them in many different directions, he discovered that the average power output was higher than a single array pointed in one direction.  Cool!

He did leave out a few important details, though.  For starters, many conventional solar arrays are mounted on systems that keep them pointed toward the sun.  That technique produces more power than splitting the array up into pieces.  But I think the biggest piece he left out is that many trees (especially temperate and arctic trees) have mechanisms to aim their leaves toward the sun.  This mechanism isn't perfect, but it does greatly improve the efficiency of the collectors.

His idea is still cool, though...

Slide Rules...

Amazing!  I'm not the only one who thinks it would be a good idea for today's kids to learn about slide rules...

Hysterical...

This video is just over 10 minutes long, but trust me – you will not regret the time spent. Put down your morning drink, swallow, and watch. If you have young children, you might want them out of the room. If you work in a very conservative setting, this may not be safe to play there...

Halloween Ponders

Halloween has never been a big deal for Debbie and I — we have no children, and the holiday doesn’t hold any intrinsic attraction for either of us. When we lived in the “big city” (Chula Vista, affectionately known by residents as “Chulajuana” because of its proximity and resemblance to Tijuana, Mexico, just across the border), every Halloween we would have a bunch of kids show up at our door. Typically they’d be in store-bought costumes, which is iconic for me for how the holiday has been debased and twisted from an interesting and engaging family experience into a kind of plastic, shallow, and essentially meaningless experience for all. But some of the kids were cute, and especially with the younger ones there was adventure in it. So we participated with the obligatory bags of candy and surprised expressions when we answered the door. Actually, Debbie mostly did that, while I hid somewhere deep in the house.

Now that we’ve moved out of the city and into a rural area, things have changed on several fronts. Our house is so out-of-the-way that nobody sends their kids up here trick-or-treating. We’ve literally never had a trick-or-treater knock upon our door. The first couple of years we lived out here, conditioned by our Chulajuana experience, we were prepared with candy, etc. But no one ever showed, and then we had to figure out how to dispose of the horrible confections we’d bought. But I’ve noticed one other change, as well, and pondered its meaning: an interesting fraction of the trick-or-treaters I’ve seen while driving through our valley are in obviously homemade costumes.

My first thought, upon observing this, was that it probably reflected the relative poverty of the residents out our way (average incomes out here are clearly quite a bit lower than in the 'burbs of San Diego County). But then on reflection I think that’s not the case. Another piece of evidence: it’s also true that we have a high proportion of families who home-school their kids — and you certainly don’t elect to home-school to save money. From these and other observations, I conclude that what’s really happening is that very generally the folks out here have a different set of values with respect to their kids. They’re more engaged with them, and devote more of their attention to them.

And they often make their own Halloween costumes, presumably with their kids (and the homemade costumes I’ve seen sure look like the kids were involved!). One of the many reasons why I love living where we do…