FJ Cruiser: Rear Bumper Complete...

Here's the promised photo of the completed rear bumper.  Debbie found an awesome hitch receiver cover that hasn't arrived yet (a milled copy of the “Don't Tread On Me” flag) which will provide the finishing touch.

The orange arrow points out the rear quarter panel plastic that I worked so hard to preserve (much hand sawing was involved with this!).

The blue arrow points out the backup lights.  I've physically installed them, but have not yet wired them up (that's a job for tomorrow).  These are 55 watt halogen bulbs that are used as the headlights in many cars – should light up the world behind me quite nicely when I'm backing this thing up!

The green arrow points out the hitch receiver (2" Class IV). 

The yellow arrow points out the D-ring hard points.  These are on both the front and rear of the vehicle, and provide a very convenient attachment point for winch lines (if someone else is pulling us out of trouble).  All of these can hold the entire vehicle weight.  With these plus the rock rails, we've now got great attachment points all the way around the vehicle.  In addition, both the bumpers and the rock rails make fine places for the hi-lift jack to get under.

I'm headed up to All-Pro (in Perris, California) on Monday to get their help with the transfer case/exhaust skid plate.  They don't know any reason why it won't fit other than some design change to the 2013 FJ model.  I'm the very first customer of theirs to attempt fitting all this stuff to a 2013, so I'm the one running into the fitment issues.  There have only been a couple issues so far, and in both cases the fine folks at All-Pro have committed to me that they would make it right.  For instance, in the current case of the transfer case/exhaust skid plate – they've told me that if they can't make the standard one fit, they'll make one for me that does fit.  Can't really ask for more than that!

I Shouldn't Be Surprised...

California's current political context, with Democratic super-majorities in both Houses and a leftist, progressive (Democratic, of course) governor, means that it's possible for California to advance outrageously crazy bills and get them signed by the governor.  For some reason, I keep getting surprised when they do so.

Here's another one in the works – it hasn't passed yet, but the oracles are predicting that it will.

The problem his new bill is addressing is one of those features of ObamaCare with supposedly unforeseen consequences – that were actually completely foreseen by many critics: the “employer mandate” that requires any employer of more than 50 full-time workers.  Many employers in the service sector (restaurants, movie theaters, hotels, etc.) will simply move as many employees as possible from full time to part time.  If you're running a business, this is an obvious tactic to avoid the (large) additional expenses of ObamaCare.  Of course they're going to move those workers to part time – and they should, in order to keep their prices low and competitive.  Any business that didn't would instantly become less efficient and less competitive than it should be.

So imagine you're a California legislator.  What do you do in the face of this?  Well, of course what you do is outlaw moving workers to part time!  Make it illegal for a business to run efficiently, or to compete effectively – yeah, that's the ticket!

The drums of doom beat ever closer.  Especially in California...

Baby House Finches...

Asleep (at 6:45 am):

FJ Cruiser: Rear Bumper...

I'm currently working on the rear bumper and some additional lighting (more on that in a later post).  At right is what the back of the FJ looked like after I finished disassembling the factory rear bumper.  The blue arrow points out the steel core that's hidden deep inside the plastic cover (purely cosmetic) of the factory bumper.  That steel is quite sturdy, unlike the plastic cover.  The red arrow shows the rear quarter panel with the pretty plastic removed.

The challenge for All-Pro (the maker of my new bumper) was that the pretty plastic for the rear quarter panels needed to remain intact - but that plastic is made out of a single piece that incorporates both rear quarter panels and the plastic cover of the bumper itself.  In the photo below you can see this piece as it looks when removed from the vehicle, at a point when I'm about halfway through the modifications - modifications that involve drilling and sawing the plastic!

The red arrow points out the hand saw I used to make most of the modifications (the use of this kind of saw was recommended by All-Pro).  The saw has a yellow-and-black handle, and the blade is pointed away from the camera.  If you look closely you can see the kerf of the cut I've already made across over half the width of the bumper plastic.  The blue arrows point out areas that are now open, but used to be solid plastic – these I removed by drilling a hole to allow the saw to start, then sawing all around the edges.  Finally, the yellow arrow points out the left rear quarter panel's pretty plastic – salvaging this is the entire point of the modification exercise.

Hacking away at the plastic of my brandy-new FJ was a little wierd :)

At this point the new bumper is mounted, though a few little details remain.  I am waiting for some lights to arrive so I can install them in the provided holes for the bumper.  We've also ordered a nice hitch receiver cover that I'll install, as it will be a while before we actually use that hitch receiver for anything.  I've also got a few details left, like re-mounting the mud flaps.  When that's all finished, I'll post a photo of it.

Debbie took a close look at the new bumper yesterday and pronounced it “studly”.  I think she's convinced that even i cannot hurt our new FJ now...

The armor on the bottom is about half finished.  The front suspension skid is completely installed, as is the transmission skid.  The transfer case/exhaust skid has a fitment problem which All-Pro is investigating for me.  I've installed one of the four lower link skids; I got stopped by nuts torqued on so hard I simply could not remove them with tools in hand.  However, I've now got a 24" breaker bar, and that will hopefully do the trick!

How A Democrat Thinks...

First, make sure that no one you care about can see or hear you.  Then imagine you're a prominent Democrat.  Pause here to take a stiff drink if necessary; you may want to book a therapy session now if you're so inclined.

Ok, now consider how you should react to your colleague Senator Max Baucus' statement the other day – he said that the implementation of your beloved ObamaCare by the Obama administration was a “train wreck”.  Should you berate him for breaking ranks and sounding like a (gasp) Republican?  That's tempting, but in a moment you'll see that that would be an amateur response.  Should you ignore him?  Nope, better not, as this is starting to get some media attention.  Should you attempt to refute him?  No, no, that just won't do.  First of all, Senator Baucus, most unfortunately (from your Democratic perspective) has the facts on his side.  Even worse, the low-information sheep-like voters that you depend on won't understand the argument, as it would inevitably contain words with more than two syllables and would require an actual understanding of how government and economics work.  Nope, none of these options are good.

So, Mr. Prominent Democrat - what should you do?

Here's where you have a chance to display your mastery of what passes for political discourse in this country.  Here's where you turn what looks like a colleague's defection into a stellar opportunity.

How?

Why, you agree with Senator Baucus, of course.  The Obama administration's implementation of ObamaCare is a train wreck - because we're not spending enough money on it!  Those nasty Republicans are causing problems for ObamaCare by refusing to sink even more money into it!

There, now, see how it's done?  You've just applied political jujitsu to a nasty situation, and turned it to your advantage.  Way to go, Senator Reid!

Of course, the real problem here is that the citizens of Nevada keep re-electing this piece of buzzard excrement.  Why?  You'll have to ask them.  I'm afraid I just cannot fathom it...

Even After He's Dead...

Via my lovely bride:

Quote of the Day...

By Lew Rockwell:

Sadly, we have been conditioned to believe that the job of the government is to keep us safe, but in reality the job of the government is to protect our liberties. Once the government decides that its role is to keep us safe, whether economically or physically, they can only do so by taking away our liberties. That is what happened in Boston.

Exactly.

Old Programmers Don't Just Fade Away...

The software development world (it's management, anyway) in general has a bias against older programmers.  Back in the bad old days when I was part of management, I heard this expressed directly and forcefully, all the way up to the Board level.  The assumption is that older brains are slower brains, and that the extra experience of the older programmers was more than offset by the energy and freshness of the younger folks.  Recruiting in most software companies is (whether subtly or overtly) oriented more toward younger programmers than older.

This study says that bias is wrong...

Sage Advice...

Via my mom:

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.

One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.."Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us." She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: "

"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

Hurricane on Saturn...

NASA is calling it “The Rose”.  I'll call it awesome:

Climate Change Causes Prostitution...

I'll bet you didn't know that!  But several CongressCritters have said so, therefore it must be true.  Right?

Well, wait a second.  First, all thirteen of the CongressCritters making this assertion happen to be Democrats.  That's either a pattern or a one-in-8192 coincidence.  I'm going with pattern.

Then the sponsor is Representative Barbara Lee.  That certainly sets off the alarm bells, as Ms. Lee is a veritable poster child for radical progressivism in the U.S.  You'll not be surprised to hear that she's represented a San Francisco Bay district for the past 15 years.

So let's tote this up:
– bill is sponsored by Barbara Lee
– Barbara Lee is from California, San Francisco Bay area
– bill is supported by 13 Democrats
– bill blames climate change

I think we could make an a priori case for the premise being false.  I'm going to go out on a limb and say that climate change does not cause prostitution.

I'm having trouble laughing about this.  Crying seems more appropriate...

Monday Morning Palate Cleanser...

Quote of the Day...

Mark Steyn:

There is a stupidity to this, but also a kind of decadence. Until the 1960s, it was assumed by all sovereign states that they had the right to choose which non-nationals were admitted within their borders. Now, to suggest such a thing risks the charge of “nativism” and to propose that, say, Swedes are easier to assimilate than Chechens is to invite cries of “Racist!” So, when the morgues and emergency rooms are piled high, the only discussion acceptable in polite society is to wonder whether those legless Bostonians should have agitated more forcefully for federally mandated after-school assimilationist basketball programs.

Read the whole thing...

Llama and Goat Update...

Several readers wrote wondering what happened with the llama and goats that showed up at our place earlier this week.  Well, thanks to one of our neighbors (Mike S.) we discovered that the owner was another neighbor (Mike W., about a half mile away) who had recently acquired this animals.  Mike W. came over on Thursday and we roped a couple of the goats, and he took them home.  The llama (named “Katie”) wasn't willing to be captured, so we just left our gate open.  Sometime on Saturday, she apparently started missing her little goat-buddies, and she took off back home.

We are now a llama- and goat-free zone again!  We suffered a little bit of damage to some of our trees (especially, of all things, the palo verde tree).  Worse, one of the damned goats chewed the starter cord for my lawnmower in half, so now I have to fix that thing...

A Close Encounter...

Yesterday afternoon I had a close encounter of the rattlesnake kind, in our yard.  This is a routine summer occurrence out here, but this was the first of this calendar year.

I had all four dogs on leashes, and was walking past our pines, when I heard a fuss, a hiss, and lots of bird squawking.  Just to my right, about six feet away, a pair of tiny canyon wrens was doing battle with a fairly large western diamondback rattlesnake.  The wrens almost certainly have a nest in the vicinity, and were being good bird parents, getting that snake out of the area.  The snake was quite unhappy at the unwanted attention it was getting, and was striking repeatedly at the wrens – but they were too quick for him to ever actually hit them.

I hustled the dogs back into the house, and got our snake stick (a roughly six foot long stick with a pair of tongs operated by a handle – lets me safely pick up snakes).  Debbie got an empty five gallon plastic tub.  When I grabbed that snake and picked it up, we got a good look at its size – about four feet long and roughly 3.5" in diameter in the middle.  A big 'un!

Into the tub he went, and I bungeed down the top.  I hauled him off to a remote area and released him, far from any homes or domestic animals.  Usually when I release rattlesnakes, they sort of slowly slink away.  This guy was still really upset, and he came straight for me, striking at the toe of my (heavy work) boot.  No damage done, but certainly got my heart rate up!

Reader Recommendation: General Contractor, Jamul Area...

Reader Steve K. (who lives “down the hill” in Jamul town) asked me to pass along his recommendation for a general contractor based in Jamul.  Gladly!  Says Steve:

I love getting first hand recommendations for products and services and I‘ve gotten several from you and your readers over the years via your blog. Now I’d like to return the favor. I recently completed a large project at my house that involved grading, foundation, concrete, framing, electrical, and plumbing work. Initially I was shopping around for individual contractors that worked in these various trades, but it began to occur to me that there were going to be things that fell in the gaps between the trades, and I was going to have to handle them.

Then I found Custom Construction Company right here in Jamul – a general contractor. The wonderful thing, in my experience, about using a general contractor is that they can bridge the gaps between the trades, and for things they don’t do (e.g. insulation and drywall in my case) they have trusted subcontractors that they’ve developed a close relationship with over many years.

This is a family business (3 generations) and the owner (Darren) is very patient, easy to communicate with, incredibly knowledgeable, and very fair. Because of his years of experience, he also has great ideas in the design department. The 2 things I want to emphasize about my experience are the integrity and comfortable style that Darren brings to his work and the incredibly high quality of the work Darren and his son Jason provide. Their attention to detail is unbelievable. I actually used another company (that I’d already signed a contract with before I found them) for a part of my project and the contrast between the two companies was striking. The other company was what I seem to find more and more these days – guys with almost no experience and little skill working as “installers” or “technicians”. The folks at Custom Construction Company are true craftsmen and I can’t recommend them highly enough. You can reach them at 619-669-6339.

The True History of Grits...

Via cousin Mike D.:

The True History Of GRITS


What Are Grits?

Nobody knows. Some folks believe grits are grown on bushes and are harvested by midgets by shaking the bushes after spreading sheets around them. Many people feel that grits are made from ground up bits of white corn.

These are obviously lies spread by Communists and terrorists. Nothing as good as Grits can be made from corn. The most recent research suggests that the mysterious Manna that God rained down upon the Israelites during their time in the Sinai Desert was most likely Grits. Critics disagree, stating that there is no record of biscuits, butter, salt, and red eye gravy raining down from the sky, and that God would not punish his people by forcing them to eat Grits without these key ingredients.


How Grits Are Formed:

Grits are formed deep underground under intense heat and pressure. It takes over 1000 years to form a single Grit. Most of the world's grit mines are in the South, and are guarded day and night by armed guards and pit bull dogs. Harvesting the Grit is a dangerous occupation, and many Grit miners lose their lives each year so that Grits can continue to be served morning after morning for breakfast (not that having Grits for dinner and supper is out of the question).

Yankees have attempted to create synthetic Grits. They call it Cream of Wheat. As far as we can tell, the key ingredients of Cream of Wheat are Elmer's Glue and shredded Styrofoam. These synthetic grits have also been shown to cause nausea, and may leave you unable to have children.


Historical Grits:

As we mentioned earlier, the first known mention of Grits was by the Ancient Israelites in the Sinai Desert . After that, Grits were not heard from for another 1000 years. Experts feel that Grits were used during this time only during secret religious ceremonies, and were kept from the public due to their rarity.

The next mention of Grits was found amidst the ruins of the ancient city of Pompeii in a woman's personal diary. The woman's name was Herculaneum Jemimaneus (Aunt Jemima to her friends.)

The 10 Commandments of Grits
I. Thou shalt not put syrup on thy Grits
II. Thou shalt not eat thy Grits with a spoon or knife
III. Thou shalt not eat Cream of Wheat and call it Grits, for this is blasphemy ..
IV. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's Grits.
V. Thou shalt use only salt, butter, and red-eye gravy as toppings for thy Grits.
VI Thou shalt not eat Instant Grits.
VII. Thou shalt not put ketchup on thy Grits.
VIII. Thou shalt not put margarine on thy Grits.
IX. Thou shalt not eat toast with thy Grits, only biscuits made from scratch.
X. Thou shalt eat grits on the Sabbath for this is manna from heaven.


How to Cook Grits:

For one serving of Grits:
Boil 1.5 cups of water with salt and a little butter. [Use milk and they are creamier!)
Add 5 Tbsps. of Grits.
Reduce to a simmer and allow the Grits to soak up all the water.
When a pencil stuck into the grits stands alone, it is done. That's all there is to cooking grits.

How to make red eye gravy
Fry salt cured country ham in cast iron pan. Remove the ham when done and add coffee to the gravy and simmer for several minutes. Great on grits and biscuits.


How to Eat Grits:

Immediately after removing your grits from the stove top, add a generous portion of butter or red eye gravy (WARNING: Do NOT use low-fat butter.) The butter should cause the Grits to turn a wondrous shade of yellow. (Hold a banana or a yellow rain slicker next to your Grits; if the colors match, you have the correct amount of butter.)

In lieu of butter, pour a generous helping of red eye gravy on your grits. Be sure to pour enough to have some left for sopping up with your biscuits. Never, ever substitute canned or store bought biscuits for the real thing because they cause cancer, rotten teeth and impotence.

Next, add salt. (NOTICE: The correct ration of Grit to Salt is 10:1 Therefore, for every 10 grits, you should have 1 grain of salt.)

Now begin eating your grits. Always use a fork, never a spoon. Your grits should be thick enough so they do not run through the tines of the fork.

The correct beverages to serve with Grits is black coffee. (DO NOT use cream or, heaven forbid, Skim Milk) Your grits should never be eaten in a bowl because Yankees will think it's cream of wheat.


Ways to Eat Leftover Grits:

(Leftover grits are extremely rare)
Spread them in the bottom of a casserole dish,
Cover and place them in the refrigerator overnight.
The Grits will congeal into a gelatinous mass.
Next morning, slice the Grits into squares and fry them in 1/2" of cooking oil and butter until they turn a golden brown.
Many people are tempted to pour syrup onto Grits served this way. This is, of course, unacceptable.


BLESSING BEFORE EATING GRITS

May the Lord bless these grits,
May no Yankee ever get the recipe,
May I eat grits every day while living,
And may I die while eating grits.

AMEN

Limnanthes douglasii

Common name “poached egg plant” or “yellow and white Douglas' meadowfoam”.  Native to northern California and Oregon, and occasionally further south.  My dad and I saw this in Lassen National Park about six years ago, before the big fires there.  Via BPOD, of course...

Bad News About Grandpa...

Via reader Simi L.:

An elderly man had a massive stroke and the family drove him to the emergency room.

After a while, the ER doctor appeared wearing a long face.

“I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.”

“Oh, dear God,” cried his wife.  “We've never had a liberal in the family before!”

Now We Know...

Now we know what Alexander Graham Bell actually sounded like...