I'm a Sick Old Man...

Via my lovely bride:

I am a sick old man!

I was sick and in the hospital. There was one nurse that just drove me crazy. Every time she came in, she would talk to me like I was a little child. She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, 'And how are we doing this morning?' or 'Are we ready for a bath?', or 'Are we hungry?' I had had enough of this particular nurse.

One day, at breakfast, I took the apple juice off the tray and put it in my bed side stand. Later, I was given a urine bottle to fill for testing. So you know where the juice went!

The nurse came in a little later, picked up the urine bottle and looked at it.  'My, it seems we are a little cloudy today.'

At this, I snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off the top, and drank it down, saying, 'Well, I'll run it through again. Maybe I can filter it better this time.'

The nurse fainted...and I just smiled.