Saturday, October 30, 2010


Via reader Jim M.:
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it, of course.

How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopath.

How do you get Holy Water?
You boil the Hell out of it!

What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quattro Cinco

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

What's the different between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!

Why don't blind people like to skydive?
Because it scares their dog.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic?

What's the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The location of the dirt bag.

Why did the Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckle on their head.

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes “Whack. Dang!”
A bad skydiver goes “Dang! Whack.”

How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.

Why does the ocean roar?
You would too if you had crabs on your bottom!

Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

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