Thursday, May 28, 2015

The “Coyote Principle”...

The “Coyote Principle”...  Via my lovely bride:
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
  • The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
  • He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
  • He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.
  • The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
  • The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
  • The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
  • The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
  • The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re the nature of coyotes.
  • PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
  • The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
  • The buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
Here in Utah, I think the solution would be even cheaper than in Texas. Our governor would most likely grab a nearby rock and bonk the coyote over the head, costing the taxpayers nothing...

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