Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Deteriorating Spam?

I have the feeling that the quality of spam is going down, and rapidly. What that means is anyone’s guess (assuming that I’m even right). I had to search through today’s spam to find one that I was comfortable reprinting — some are so awful that I feel the need to cleanse myself somehow. Good thing I’m going to be taking a shower here shortly! Anyway, here’s one of the over 200 spams I received today, verbatim except I redacted a few things that might actually help the spammer:

Subject: FW: Elof Your cheaper health commodities are in order.

To: <redacted>

From: <redacted>


I’m sending this your way.


— — — -Original Message — — — -

From: Rufus []

Sent: Wed, 30 Nov 2005 10:53:10 -0700

To: Logan

Subject: Roseanne Obtain your curing products for less money from our on

line shop.

Ciao Mathilde,

No one can make obtaining your treatments exhilerating, but at least our

e-pharmacy can make it effortless. Manage your PMS by intake our product.

Find all the brand name enhancers and more in our shop. Our ever-enlarging

patron cluster has allowed us to be a wonderous success amongst pharmacies.

<URL redacted>

Effective item, sold at min price. E purchase in bulk & save more.

Fed up with queuing up for forever in druggist lines? We have your remedy!



"Three times,” reserve universe percent said the Professor. in the pictures

of him), ghost humour while the rest waited in silence. theory At HNp

threw down the trademark strip routine of wood irritably.

Do you find this convincing? Does it make you wanto click on that link to buy some drugs? Do you feel safe giving your credit card information to the writer of this?

It’s hard for me to imagine that spam of such low quality could possibly succeed. I hope it’s true that I don’t know anyone who would consider responding from this. Certainly not my blog readers! Maybe some distant New Jersey relative…

But this starts me on a ponder… I get so many of these atrocious spams that I wonder if in fact they actually are successful. Surely if they were failures they’d all quickly go away — who would go to all this trouble for nothing? Because email is free, the spammer needs only a very small percentage of responders to succeed. So follow the thought — let’s say that the email above actually did succeed, with a response rate of, oh, say, a paltry 0.0001%. Let’s say it was sent to 10 million people. That works out to 10 responses (if I did my math right). From the spammer’s point of view, that’s 10 sales (or more likely, 10 stolen credit card numbers), with zero marketing cost. The only problem is that 9,999,990 of us have to suffer.

And that gets me to my real point, to wit: if these awful spams actually are successful (from the spammer’s perspective), isn’t that kind of scary? I mean, who are these people who actually respond to something like this? Could there really be that many people missing such a high percentage of their little gray cells? What group of people is so divorced from reality that they’d fall for something like this? Can you think of one?

Of course you can! POLITICIANS! BWA HA HA HA!

I feel better about spam already!

1 comment:

  1. In the old blog, Anonymous said:
    You are great! Love your sense of humor. Wonder where you got those genes??? I know you will not blame either mom or dad right?